BPDFamily.com

Ex and me we're working on friendship for a while.

She made a comment which brought me back to a lot of bad history.
So I asked her why she even wanted to be friends in consideration that she threw me out so easily, painted me black, and etc... .

She claimed she has changed her ways and yada.

I questioned her reasons for being here as a friend.
As I wasn't sure if she wanted to just relieve guilt, or if she valued the relationship.
I was also nervous she would turn my friends on me.
She treated me with disdain on this, asserting I should be over all the issues we once had.
Told her I deserve to be respected and not given disdain.
I had the tone of agitation during this conversation, however we ultimately ended on a good note.


Later I found out she told my friends our bad history, which I kept private.  The story she presents has a lot of flaws and holes. She tried to validate herself for cheating on me with a lot of nonsense.  Lot of obvious distortion, even thing such as length of relationship and dynamics. 

I'm upset because I wanted to keep this private, and she let it out to my friends.  
I basically implied for her not to do this, and she did.
She was pretty negative about me in the conversation to them, making me out to be a loser of a sort, or an ass.
My friend stood up for me in this convo, but kept it light as well.



Basically now the past issues is leaked into the group circle. These are directly my friends btw, and they didn't know my history with her. They were very friendly with her and we were all getting along good together.

My friends knowing more of the story, want me to burn the bridge for my own sake.

It also told me she hasn't changed fully, and BPD is still a thing to some degree.
Now I realize she 'still' has symptoms of BPD with the delusions, rewritten history, and painting me black when there is any direct conflict.


I have a lot of mixed feelings. Not really sure what to do or handle this. Was hoping I could be friends and not let this drama leak out.

I also find it strange, since she came to me to be friends with apologies. Yet during our talk, she made it seem like she was doing me a favor by being friends?


I naively didn't think she would tell everyone our history, especially distortedly. Very disappointed as I wanted everything to work out as friends.


Now everything seems like another mess where everyone is going to end up hating each other.
At another point, I'm starting to wonder if I should continue friendship anyways as she did exactly what
I implied for her not to do.

Any advice?

Sounds like you know what to do, just gotta walk the tougher path for yourself to find out... .I'm 2.5 months out of my relationship, so I'm not sure if you want my advice, however slow your thoughts down if you can, and look clearly at your principles and what guides your inner laws or instincts and follow them with confidence that you will have a good life with or without this person... .be true to your thoughts and words and let your true friends walk beside you... .others who don't like or respect you, you will be glad they are not beside you... .not sure if this helps but it's what I got ATM... .good luck

I honestly am not entirely sure what to do.

I feel stuck, as I added her into this group of friends. Everyone was getting along.
Now she let loose our negative history to everyone and now the whole thing is a mess.

I feel it's super awkward as everyone has networked each other already.
Not only that, but that she tried validating and distorted history majorly in her favor.

She was suppose to have 'changed'. She expressed her ways of wanting to repent.
Then she goes and does this, trying to make me look bad while also self incriminating herself.

It literally screwed the entire dynamic, and it's just awful now.
Very stress inducing.

Unless you still want to be friends with her, kick her butt out of the group and tell your friends your version of the truth... .they will understand, and it will build intimacy between you and that group... .sure you probably weren't perfect in your relationship, but deal with it with genuineness and honesty... .just communicate to your circle of friends and ask that your ex be unfriended with them because of the lack of trust and friendship that is presently to date... .just my two cents, I obviously know very little to nothing about your situation... .good luck