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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting => Topic started by: RedPill on August 06, 2017, 02:31:53 PM



Title: An event without chaos feels great
Post by: RedPill on August 06, 2017, 02:31:53 PM
This lies somewhere between the "learning" and "co-parenting" boards. I recently went to a fancy reception event with D15, many of her friends from sports, and other parents and coaches. This is a fairly new group for D15 so I was happy she was involved and excited to go, although I didn't know many of the other parents. I was assigned a seat at a table surrounded with strangers ... .

... .and was amazed to discover how fun, relaxing and enjoyable an outing could be when I wasn't constantly calming, rescuing, attending on or managing my stbxuBPDw in public! I didn't have to monitor how much she was drinking, I didn't have to stand ready to steer conversations away from a subject she would be triggered by and I didn't have to anticipate the inevitable crash when she felt that everyone disrespected and hated her and wanted to flee for home. My daughter and I had a great time individually and together ... .it felt normal.

Anyone else had one of these experiences? It feels like the light at the end of the tunnel suddenly got a little brighter. Here's to more of that.
-
RP


Title: Re: An event without chaos feels great
Post by: flourdust on August 07, 2017, 07:16:50 AM
Oh yes.  So much this. Since my ex moved out, time with my D11 has been fantastic. Sure, normal tween drama and all that, but we get to enjoy our time together without having to manage or be blown up by a dysregulated person.

This past weekend, we went shopping for school supplies, attended a birthday party, watched a movie, worked on her math, and more - without the ex creating conflict, it was all lovely.