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I think with this particular person it is only a matter of time until she instates herself in the position of power through a series of manipulation tactics, at which point the abuse really starts. Whilst the guy will be unwittingly looking for a normal balanced relationship with this amazing all-loving person, her mind meanwhile is seeking to find someone that will be her surrogate parents and do anything for her, which means control; that's what it seems to be about. So she must have control, or she must be controlled.

I can see no way that anyone will, in the context of a life long relationship, be able to avoid her switching to her darkside and her resenting their existence. The only way to keep her under control is intimidation. If you sympathise with her victim mentality you will start to lose control, and this is something most decent men will do, it's in their nature to protect women, especially those who claim to love them. Therefore the only man I can see her staying with for a very long time is an abusive man who may well keep her controlled, however, it will be a particularly nasty existence.  I think she would actually enjoy an abusive partner, as she will respect him for it. She seems respect those who are effectively bullies. Is this a common BPD trait?

Lap dog is probably a bad term. But I began to try to make it work.

What led to the fall from power is that she got bored and she didn't need me anymore. That's the sad truth. For her "love" didn't mean love, it meant an overwhelming desire to have something that she doesn't have. My perspective on our feelings for each other way SO far off what hers was. As soon as she started cheating (triangulating the relationship) and I started fighting for her, well that was it. She had other options, and I was now fighting for her. That wasn't fun for her. She didn't want something that was obtainable, she wanted what was unobtainable.

The next guy is a new source of excitement and a new game to play.