BPDFamily.com

Today is his birthday and yesterday was the first day I was able to make it thigh without contacting him.  I sent him a simple happy birthday text this morning, and received a "thanks."

I know he has plans today but he wouldn't tell me-all he said was that he's doing it alone.  That may be the case, as he is a loner.  But it's killing me that he's ratter be alone on his birthday and isn't interested in being with me.  I so want to send him a text later tonight asking how his day went.  But I know that would be a mistake because if he doesn't answer, my mind will run wild and I'll think he is out with someone.

Hey Pinksunset, It sounds like you covered it with your text this a.m.  If he elects to celebrate alone, that's up to him.  Can you fill us in a little on your current situation?  Are you: married, separated, in a relationship, broken up, or taking a break?  Where do you stand?  Since you are posting here on the Relationship Ended - Breakup Crisis Board, I assume you have parted ways in some fashion.  Fill us in, when you can.

LuckyJim

so it was his birthday and I had asked him to do something and he claimed that he had plans and that he wanted to be alone.  He knew I was going somewhere that night with a mutual guy friend of ours and I had invited him along.  He said no. 

I show up at the event and there he was!  Just when I'm starting to feel like I can do this without him.  We acted like friends and it was fine, but it keeps me from my resolution to get stronger and not need him.  If I'm honest I would say of course I want him back.  But not the way it was before.

And a part of me thinks he misses me and wanted to see me.  My friends though think he just wanted to go to the event and only thinks of me as a friend.  Hard
 for me to believe that.

Hey Pinksunset, When you say you want him back, I assume that means you have broken up?  What sort of a r/s was it before it ended?  What caused you to part ways?  Fill us in, when you can.

You also say that you don't him back "the way it was before."  What has changed?  What was it like "before"?  Sorry for all the questions.

What makes you think he has BPD?

LJ

My ex's BD is coming up next Thurs. honestly I don't  feel like even texting her a happy birthday. Because I know that if I do that, i'm going to get a stupid answer like thanks, Or a  blame statement like, "you don't care anyway" so what's the point of the text? It's gonna put me in a downer. I'm still thinking about it, but I'm really planning not to text her anything. She was here for my birthday last month, but her plan was to be here for my birthday so I have a decent birthday and break up afterwards. That was her plan,  and of course the birthday was miserable and we fought  daily, and the day of my birthday I excluded her from the event so I can enjoy myself. I finally did enjoy my birthday.