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Title: Is this normal? Post break up BPD behavior Post by: Edenalterego on August 10, 2017, 12:40:52 PM I have read about how BPDex cling onto the things you give them, but my BPDex who I just broke up with last night told me that she is going to give all the stuff I gave her back to me. Which include the things that she like the most, her bday present, and a commitment ring that I gave her.
How is she so rational about this break up she doesnt even seem too upset, it seems like she just wants to go NC on me and disappear and never see me again. Is this normal? Title: Re: Is this normal? Post break up BPD behavior Post by: Edenalterego on August 10, 2017, 12:52:43 PM God it hurts. I broke up with her because I have to in order to protect myself, but I feel so lost and empty.
Title: Re: Is this normal? Post break up BPD behavior Post by: once removed on August 10, 2017, 01:13:40 PM hang in there Edenalterego.
it may be that she is putting on a brave face. it could be that she is in a different stage of grieving. i wouldnt make too much of hearing that pwBPD always cling to relationship memorabilia, its an over generalization not unique to BPD. its a little bit petty and immature of her to return those things (unfortunately sometimes people are petty and immature in breakups). shes acting out of hurt. and i get that that hurts you. its natural to feel some second thoughts especially if we feel conflicted in ending a relationship. you say you broke up with her to protect yourself. thats a pretty strong consideration, no? what do you mean by it? Title: Re: Is this normal? Post break up BPD behavior Post by: Edenalterego on August 10, 2017, 02:12:15 PM and i get that that hurts you. its natural to feel some second thoughts especially if we feel conflicted in ending a relationship. you say you broke up with her to protect yourself. thats a pretty strong consideration, no? what do you mean by it? https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=313342.msg12891728#msg12891728 (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=313342.msg12891728#msg12891728) I understand that it might be a lot of readings, but here's the general gist of what I need to protect myself from. Also, once removed, thank you for replying to my post. I know I couldn't rationalize her behaviors, but this self-doubt and invalidation from her after break up is a bit hard to handle, as I just broke up with her last night. She is putting on the brave face, saying that I couldn't walk through this with her, that it is my fault for leaving her and apparently just not good enough since I couldn't continue this relationship with her. By all means, please do read the link and let me know if I was truly at fault, honestly. It sure feels like I am in a lose-lose situation. I didn't want to leave her as I love her with all my heart. But it seems like she just wants to get me and everything relating to me out of her sight (out of sight, out of mind). Thank you again. |