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Title: How do I find out the truth Post by: confused4now on August 13, 2017, 06:45:42 PM red-flag, As I write this my diagnosed BPD husband is packing up and leaving!. I iniatiated and keep having to reinforce my boundaries to get this to happen, yes and even manipulate. After finding all sorts of evidence of having a secret life, I confronted him. I showed him the text that confirmed that he has secret emails, a code for a "Sideline" account, pictures of females on his phone contact list. He denied it all. I mean flat denied it, said he did not know it was on his phone. He said I put it on. I think where I am stuck is all the lies and how far did he go? What do I NOT know about, and why I can not find a smoking gun. It seems he is always covering his tracks. He also says he wants this to work, but his actions are so different. Why not just go? Why get married? I am so hurt, that I go in and out of denial. I amaze myself when I see the evidence yet doubt myself at the same time. I guess my question is : Do we ever find out the TRUTH? do they ever come clean so we can begin to trust our instincts? Please tell me how to get to ;the truth
Title: Re: How do I find out the truth Post by: Mutt on August 13, 2017, 07:05:10 PM Hi confused4now,
I can't say that a whole swath of people think one way or the other, it's over generalizing. I can relate with what you're going through and you might be seeking validation for his affairs, I am sorry that you're going through this. I think that vehemently denying bad behaviours speaks it's own truth? Look at his actions and tune out his words, you'll find the truth there. |