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Hey guys so I unfortunately made the Mistake of falling for my xBPD's H o o v e r. In my last posts i mentioned that my BPDx sent me a text after 2months of NC, saying "I wish I still had you... you are definitely one of the best people I've ever come across in my existence. I'm sorry my ways* got in the way of us being close/ continuing this relationship... .I just want to let you know that days like this, I miss you." I stupidly responded. Well we've been communicating off and on lately and last Friday she kept messaging me that she would love to see me on Saturday, and i told her that I unfortunately worked late Saturday but that i would be off Sunday and Monday. She said she would send me her schedule so that we could meet up. However, I'm getting this gut feelings that she is covertly punishing me. She claims she misses me but when i asked her when she would like to so see me she said let me look at my calendar and preceded to say that she would be free a week from the day we spoke. I told her i was extremely hurt by this because, she sent me countless messages about how she misses me and how i'm so important to her but now that i am back in her life, she is showing no urgency to see me at all. She is acting rather indifferent about me. I did manage to ask her why she doesn't want to see me sooner, seeing as though SHE is the one who contacted me and begged me to be in her life again, and she said well i only have two days off and I want to go see so and so... .We have talked pretty much everyday since the reingagement, and some days she idealizes me and then other days she acts too busy... .Classic BPD, but i want your honest opinion guys, am i overeating or what? I just don't see how someone who tells you they Miss you and love you can show you such indifference, and especially choose blatant strangers over someone they "claim" is so special to them. Can someone help me rationalize this.

As someone who is currently struggling with a recycle I can tell you from my experiences that it's nothing but a control tactic and unfortunately she won this round with you

She texted u to see if she still has some control and by responding u affirmed to her 'yes u still have me even though I've been NC'

Now try this, ignore her next attempts to contact u, literally just ignore her completely, I bet she will escalate her attempts to contact u and when she keeps hitting a wall she will start the love bombing all over again to try and woo you

Unfortunately the thrill of the chase is always better than the catch, if u can keep a BPD in chase mode forever she would make a decent partner

It could be that she is nervous to see you, and wants the timing to be right, maybe be cool and control your thoughts and emotions, and just see where it goes. I'm a hopeless romantic, so I always want the best for love... .Then again, I don't know your situation and suggest you trust your instincts... .It really could be a lot of things both positive and negative can happen, or something in between, but be true to yourself and stay focused on yourself and be genuine is my vote. Is so and so another guy?

Yes "so and so" is another guy. She was honest with me about it. She is back dating an ex of hers which i'm honestly okay with. I mean i won't say he's a downgrade but i do know that me and her have a lot more in common. We have 3 hour conversations, and she's very open with me about everything. She is very off and on with this guy. One minute she tells me they have nothing in common and that he is boring, and then she tells me she might move back in with him. I don't really look into what she says because well as we all know, it's almost impossible to discern how a pwBPD REALLY feels, lords knows it fluctuates constantly. I would just like her words to match her actions. If she misses me... .well make an effort to see me. If you really think you screwed up the first time, lets make an effort to make things right. It just hurts that we only live like 25min away from each other, yet she has been avoiding seeing me. She'll call me and tell me she hasn't done anything all day, and I'm like HELLO why not spend time with me, if your day is so dry. It's like she'd rather be bored and alone than come see the person she so called misses... .ughhh gotta love the borderline 

I might go with the punishment you said. i was charmed almost like you, but in a covert way. She send some tweets about missing being taken care by someone (her twitter account is only known by me and her). The moment we got back she started behaving bad, telling me only to want friendship, didnt invite me to a concert even if she knew i wanted to go or out of respect for not being in my birthday.long story short, 3 months later i told her she was being abusive, now i'm getting the silent treatment for 2 months and counting.

This is one of the most profound things I have read on here. Wouldn't it be wonderful? However, it is impossible and once she perceives she has you then she will lose interest or go back to focusing on her own preoccupations whatever they may be on any given day. She is seeing another man and is, by her own admission, blowing hot and cold towards him, just as she is doing with you. Save yourself years of heartache. Do not recycle this r/s.