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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: Dargumin on August 21, 2017, 07:46:32 PM



Title: High Functioning BPD ex is much more successful than I am
Post by: Dargumin on August 21, 2017, 07:46:32 PM
I had written a  huge essay about every detail of why I believe my ex has High Functioning BPD and was going to make that  my 1st post. Instead I'll jump in with this.

I just find my mind getting especially hung up on one point lately (18 weeks since we split - we were only together 10 weeks but friends 9 years) and that is her career success vs my lack of it.  The fact that someone with such a skewed sense of reality can hold down a job like IT Business Analyst for a major retailer in the UK makes me question myself constantly.  Yes I do believe I have adult ADHD (inattentive) and possibly Dyspraxia, but surely that cant be more debilitating than not being able to perceive reality or regulate emotional response?   

It really seems so unjust that I'm left with a broken heart, mourning both the loss of a lover and a friend and blocked from all forms of contact & struggling to get anywhere career wise - whilst she is well over me, dating all the replacements she can and juggling this with a great career.  How do High Functioning types manage to keep it together so well at work?   And is it common for them to be workaholics like my ex is?



Title: Re: High Functioning BPD ex is much more successful than I am
Post by: Lost-love-mind on August 21, 2017, 08:23:55 PM
My exBPD has a good job as a furniture assembly line worker. For the 8 weeks together she would text me before she went to sleep every wirknight at 9 or 9:30.
Then again every morning before leaving for work at 6 am. Very diligent but always told me about sleep problems. Falling to sleep mostly. She ate non GMO food and filtered water. But she would eat 6-8 times or more a day.
Sleep issues and eating disorders are symptoms of BPD. I'm not sure if either of her issues are applicable to her erratic behavior (possible BPD) in blacking me after the breakup. I was called a loser with no life since I told her last week (8 weeks after the breakup) that I still cared for her.
I can't give an answer on high functioning BPD, but just wanted to share my experience and piggyback on your post. It's pretty close. Hope we get an answer. Good luck.


Title: Re: High Functioning BPD ex is much more successful than I am
Post by: happendtome on August 22, 2017, 03:04:53 AM
My ex is also high functioning with a good job. To be honest, i think she was just lucky to get that job. She cant be fired easily either as there seems to be enormous bureaucracy and nowadyas we have these "womens rights" thing too. Its a good thing technically, but for some women this is just a tool to achieve more than they would actually deserve.
So probably she could live well off and her future is secured, but i dont miss that. Yes, i do wonder how it is possible, but thats how it is. I cant change that.

Anyway, she still borrowed money from me and i know that if i would be with her then she would make sure that all my money would be always "well spent". So in the end i would be financially dependent on her. She would make sure that i wouldnt have a choice to walk away. It doesnt matter that she herself would walk away whenever she would like it. And thats what she also did. Maybe she even didnt like that i was able to be independent on my own. Its hard to control someone who doesnt depend on you. I see lots of people trapped in marriages where they cant go away as they have no resources to live on their own. There are lots of miserable relationships if you start to look around.