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Title: Dream or nightmare? Post by: Lost-love-mind on August 22, 2017, 07:06:13 AM Just woke up from a vivid dream (or nightmare) that my exBPD told me she loved me.
This after I was feeling better about myself and convinced I'm moving on from a 2 month depression spiral after a "turn black" NC breakup. I'm wondering if I'm going to ever get over her. Title: Re: Dream or nightmare? Post by: pearlsw on August 22, 2017, 09:45:29 AM Hi there, May I ask how long ago the break up was? All of my breakups have wrecked me, that is one key factor in why I keep working at my current relationship. But it is just one factor. Until I hear back from you I will just say that in my experience time, exercise, talking with friends, and meeting someone new can all help. I have gotten over things I thought I never would. It will happen. Have patience with life. :)
I am sorry this dream upset you. Your mind is still processing this stuff, that is the upside. It can be a shock if someone leaves suddenly and it can make no sense if you thought you were in love - that was my first BPD break up experience. Try not to let this dream take you back to that low place. You are doing better and you are moving on. Our minds just have deep things tucked away inside them. Just look at it, notice it, and then let it go. Life has so much to offer. Something good is on the way! :) Title: Re: Dream or nightmare? Post by: Lost-love-mind on August 22, 2017, 05:34:59 PM 2 months ago she broke it off with NC . Called me a narcissist.
I sent her an apology email last week and told her I still cared for her She went from telling me I was the best thing that ever happened to her, to last week sending me an email telling me that the only reason I still care for her was because I'm a loser with no life. My head and heart are devestated. Title: Re: Dream or nightmare? Post by: amusement park on August 22, 2017, 05:56:37 PM Those with BPD often lash out and criticize the non bp with words that describe their feelings about themselves. That is why we aren't to take their words personally.
Hang in there. I've been emotionally and verbally abused as well. I'm seeing a counselor that is helping me sort things out. I might suggest that to you as well. Title: Re: Dream or nightmare? Post by: Meili on August 25, 2017, 10:16:02 AM I'm wondering if I'm going to ever get over her. Do you want to get over her or do you want to try to salvage the relationship? pearlsw and amusement park have given you some good advice for whichever decision you make. Title: Re: Dream or nightmare? Post by: Lost-love-mind on August 25, 2017, 04:25:37 PM There is no way to salvage the relationship when the suspected BPD ex will only communicate insults.
After the last 3 days of physical labor work, I realize that relying on friends, going to 12 step meetings and staying clean and sober are my best options for recovery. If she showed up out of the blue and painted me white again, (very unlikely) I would wish her well, say to her we can stay in remote electronic contact (but not the constant texting we were both clinging on previously) but we need more time to acclimate to changes in our respective lives. She took a physical labor factory job that stressed her out, 3 weeks before she ended it. I'm finally making a physical relocation that was put on hold months ago (right about the time the relationship started) due to the financial strain of my new employer. The move is only 30 miles out of the city but far enough to make it difficult for an ideal relationship. Yes, I'm moving. Will she ever turn back? Nobody ever can tell. I'm no longer waiting or ruminating over it. The time and opportunity has arrived for moving on. |