BPDFamily.com

My wife has BPD.  I am worried about her, our marriage, our children and myself.  She is unwilling or unable to recognize that she is in need of help.  The physical abuse has been bad but the verbal and emotional is worse.  I have been in therapy for almost two years and don't know what to do.  I believe she can get better, if only I can get her to the right place and to work on CBT.  I have read Stop Walking On Eggshells (both the book and the workbook) and continue to educate myself on the disorder.  Most of her family is in denial and continues to enable.  Any guidance would be a huge help!

Hi dentedtinman,

*welcome*

I'd like to welcome you to the community. I'm sorry to hear of your worries at home. Your feelings are very understandable, and you are not alone. So many of us can relate. You've found a great place for support and understanding.

I commend you for educating yourself on BPD and working toward healing your family. There are lots of resources here that can help. Skills you can learn, tools and information you can use.

You've mentioned physical as well as verbal/emotional abuse. That is a lot to deal with.
What kind of things trigger abusive behavior? Have you taken steps to make a safety plan or speak with trained staff at a hotline, for example? It can really help.

Safety First (https://bpdfamily.com/pdfs/safety_first.pdf)

How old are your children?

Keep posting. We're here to support you.

heartandwhole

heartandwhole, thank you for reaching out and welcoming me aboard.  the physical stuff has only occurred when she's been drinking.  verbal and emotional happens then too but also when she's stone sober.  the children are actually great and there's no concern for them physically (I'm the favored whipping post).  however, as they get older (now 7&5) i am becoming increasing concerned of the potential for any lasting emotional/pyschological impacts - unpredictable and extreme emotions and, of course, hearing our frequent "disagreements".  thanks again, dentedtinman