BPDFamily.com

Long Story Short

I am very angry at my BPD friend for multiple reasons.  I understand the abandonment issues with BPD and I want to reach back out to him but I am afraid I am still too angry to be supportive to him - I need to work on this - I need help.
 

Sorry you are so angry right now. Could you share a little more information about what is going on?

He & I have known each other for 14 years. We have been more than friends some of that time. For the past 2 years I have let him rent a room from me and it has been non stop drama - or so it feels.   This most recent "episode" began in Feb of this year.  I do not want to go into details  - but it ended with him being asked to leave my house by DSS.  To be clear there was no abuse - there was no threat of abuse - but because of his past & other things he is not to be in my home any longer - at least without some serious work on his part.
As you can imagine this sent him into a tailspin - I did everything I could and a lot that I should not have to help him & was frequently the brunt of his anger?  fear? what ever you want to call it.      It finally ended when he attempted suicide a little over a month ago - arguing came to a boiling point between us and according to him we are no longer friends.  Since  he has been gone I have finally had the chance to process my own feelings about everything and I finally realized how angry I am - while I miss him and am concerned for him (he is homeless) Every time I think about talking with him the anger comes back.
Right now he is still angry with me - but eventually he will not be angry  but I am afraid I will still be angry   
Logically I know we are (I am) better off being apart - but right now I just don't see this as being over yet.  But I don't know what to do next.   

Anger can be a good thing. It let's us know that somehow our boundaries are being violated. It's important to work through anger and get to the root of it. Anger is an emotion that comes after another emotion. Regardless of whether your friend is a part of your life or not, healing your own anger will give you a sense of closure and could help you see things more clearly in the event that he does come back.

What emotion is underlying your anger?

Here's a great workshop on Anger and Healing and working through that process:

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=75098.0

I have no idea what is under the anger - that is probably most of my problem.  I have been depressed/angry my whole life.  So I know not all my anger is toward my friend. 
But he has certainly done enough things to cause me hurt