BPDFamily.com

Enough is enough. My ex is sick - she has BPD. It has been 2 years of nc- she is still threatening me and contacting people in my life. At one point I wanted her to get help for her mental illness- was curious if she was BPD , sciociapath or what her diagnosis was . Paid thousands for treatment. But at the end of the day does not matter what her diagnosis is . She is an adult responsible for her actions. The actions continue to be abhorrent and antisocial.  People with BPD still need to be held responsible for there actions. Just venting because this problem not going away even though I follow ed all the professional advice - moved away and no contact.  Thought appreciated. Thanks

Thanks for posting this. I am always torn about this issue. Mine used to cry and say "I'm not a bad person. I just do bad things". I keep asking how many bad things do you have to do before you are actually a bad person? Where is that line? If I repeatedly do lousy things full well knowing how they hurt others I cross the line in my opinion. Anyway I am rambling. Just food for thought.

This topic line made me laugh. Not sure it's a diagnostic category but it probably should be!

Hi Jacidrinkswine,

*welcome*

I agree that a pwBPD should take care of themselves and get treatment for their mental illness, but the actions / behaviours are also driven by the disorder. I think that you can be compassionate with boundaries, in your case you moved away with no contact ( boundaries ) it doesn't like you have kids with if you're in full no contact, some members have to coparent and don't have the choice of no contact.

What is she saying to your family or friends? What do family or friends say to you when she contacts?

Mutt-,
Thank goodness no kids together. 100 percent no contact upon the advice of legal counsel and countless therapists. I am committed to this boundary. This is where it gets crazy. She reached out to the ex husband of my current girlfriend and revealed personal information about me. He subsequently contacted me via Facebook alludeing to this information. I ignored it. However am quite disturbed that I have followed the correct steps and am still haunted by this BPD/stalker. I have moved on wish she would as well.

I can see what your saying, I read your post as she's desperate and embarrassing herself in the process, I completely agree with your angle, don't do anything let her embarrass herself.

The positive of this may be that the two crazy ex's communicate with each other and she leaves you alone. I am a believer in LC despite what professionals say. After all they give advice but do not have experience firsthand dealing with BPD. I just think LC leaves things on a more positive and less adversarial note. You know the saying the devil you know... .it is great you are maintaining your boundaries bur if she is as  smart and crazy as you claim in earlier posts, I think it's better to be on neutral terms with each other.

Hi Jacidrinkswine,


What threats is she making and do you have evidence of these?  If her ongoing behaviour is disturbing and distressing to you and your family etc.  have you taken any advice about taking out an order?

Having been stalked in the past I can totally relate to your anger and frustration.
 It can feel quite suffocating.  I found it extremely wearing emotionally and it brought about my first ever very bad anxiety attacks.  I was 20 years old and convinced I was having a heart attack.  Scary stuff.  As you have a lawyer, what are they advising at present?

Love and light x