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Title: Were you warned, did you listen, what did you thought about those who warned you Post by: happendtome on August 30, 2017, 06:15:33 AM I was one who warned my BPDex about my replacement who is BPD/NPD. Like you can guess, she didnt believe me. And once all those horrible things came out she apparently saw that now she can make him a better person. Thats about it.
But i warned also some other people, close to my replacement and close to my BPDex. Some of them accused me that im manipulating with them. I gave them truth, but they simply ignored, didnt believe and quickly blocked me. Yes, there were those who saw the facts and were also horrified, but there were those who saw, but just ignored and blocked me. I didnt use my own name in most cases, just some anonymous mail/facebook. Why do people ignore truth? Its like someone warns about terrorists and some who have possibility to do something simply choose to do nothing. Unbelievable, but that question has made my detaching harder. I can understand that those who have just found their new "soulmates" wont take the truth, but all the others? Whats their excuse? So how would you act if someone would warn about you. Dor example that your daugher or dad or mom would date someone very bad? Would you block the messenger or would you at least hear out what someone has to say? Title: Re: Were you warned, did you listen, what did you thought about those who warned you Post by: Panda39 on August 30, 2017, 07:48:03 AM I know you are trying to help people avoid the pain you've experienced but sometimes we have to learn things the hard way.
I think you can warn everyone you want but until they experience a situation themselves they won't get it. I think most people expect positive intent when they meet someone or as they get to know someone. If this person is as you say people will experience it themselves and will figure it out just give it time. Panda39 Title: Re: Were you warned, did you listen, what did you thought about those who warned you Post by: happendtome on August 30, 2017, 08:45:57 AM Yes, thats true, but i have tried to put myself into their shoes and honestly, i think i would listen. I may not believe them, but i would hear what they have to say and then i would make my own decision. I certainly wouldnt block them, i would try to find out where info comes from.
But yes, i did learn that lesson long time ago and i stopped trying, Im not doing it anymore. It was few months after i found out who is my replacement. Anyway, i hope there was still something and maybe my warnings live somewhere their own life. Maybe that karma just takes time Title: Re: Were you warned, did you listen, what did you thought about those who warned you Post by: Mutt on August 30, 2017, 05:26:47 PM I think you can warn everyone you want but until they experience a situation themselves they won't get it. I think so too. I guess that it would also depend on who is telling me, is it someone that is very close to me that I trust? I would probably listen but if I don't know you, or we're just an acquaintance probably not. For example I'm very close to my brother and if said something like Listen Mutt she's bad news, just stay away from he I'd listen to him because i know that he's looking out for my best interest and I completely trust him. What type of r/s does the person warning the other person have? Title: Re: Were you warned, did you listen, what did you thought about those who warned you Post by: Insom on August 30, 2017, 06:28:21 PM Sometimes you just need to go through it. FWIW, I knew my relationship with my BPD-ex wasn't a healthy one. In addition, at least two influential people in my life exhorted me to stay away. But on I slogged anyway. There was just something in it that I had to see through to its natural ending point. And there was (and continues to be) a lot of learning that I gained from that experience.
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