BPDFamily.com

Hi there, I'm new here and glad to find somewhere I can share my experiences and frustrations and also to read other people's stories. It can be a lonely situation to be in. My ex (father of my 1 year old daughter) exhibits all the traits of BPD. I was with him for 4 years and had a baby girl with him 1 year ago. I left him almost 4 months ago and the abuse from him still occurs. He's managed to get referred to a psychiatrist who I should going to assess him and diagnose him very soon. I am 99% convinced he has BPD. I will be relieved when he gets answers as it will confirm what I have been dealing with all this time. Despite the misery he has caused me, I hope he gets answers and the help he needs so his life stops falling apart as a result of his bad decisions and behaviour. I would love our daughter to have a good relationship with him in the future as he adores her. He has 4 other children from past relationships and only 1 of them wants anything to do with him. The others have learnt how he's treated their mothers... .

Hi DaisyDoo72,

Welcome and hello  :)

You have your hands full with a baby/toddler on top of the strife that goes with a BPD ex.

I can see why you are concerned about the relationship between your daughter and her dad, and it says a lot about you that you want them to bond and have a good relationship.

Sometimes, the best we can do is to help our kids grow up to be emotionally resilient, and to learn how to have good boundaries with a parent who has none, or who has affect instability and confusing behaviors.

Your daughter is so lucky that you are reaching out for support now, while she's still young, especially in her tender years. It does seem like we have to parent in a non-intuitive way when there is a BPD parent in the picture.

How often does your ex see his daughter? Do you have a custody agreement?

Glad you're here  :) These are tough relationships to go alone.

LnL