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Something that I've noticed with my husband is that he seems to be drawn to and to feed off other's emotional reactions. I spent this weekend with my siblings and family, and my h called me to tell me that I had received a certificate in the mail for an exam that I had taken. He seemed very excited to tell me, and I just thanked him for telling me. I knew that it was coming in the mail, but I didn't let him know that. Then, when I came home, he was asking me about how my brother was. I said he was okay. He said it seemed like brother was having a hard time because his wife passed away about 6 months ago, and brother had recently posted on FB about missing her. Brother is really doing okay with the grief process. Husband knows that the feelings come and go; so I told him that was the case with brother.

I've noticed that if people have an emotional reaction to something, husband will be drawn into it whether it is positive or negative. He recently also lied to his parents about the situation in our marriage because they 'reacted' to something that he said, so he embellished it more. There are other instances that I can remember, too... .

Right now, I'm trying my best not to feed any emotions to my h.

I'm curious: have other people experienced this with their pwBPD?

Hey empath, Sure, those w/BPD enjoy drama.  They will often do things to create drama, in my experience, if things are too calm for them.  It's part of what I call the paradox of BPD: they want love, but behave in unloving fashion; they fear abandonment, but push those closest away; they want peace, but create drama and turmoil; etc.

LuckyJim

Definitely agree with this. Even to the point of creating drama.

If someone at church has any sort of crisis BPDh wants to be right in it. Almost as a way of having a bit of the attention reflect on him. Maybe a bit of a Narcissistic type of behavior.

LED