BPDFamily.com

My decree came out. 

This was an opinion I got from someone very familiar with the case and very knowledgeable about Parenting coordinators.  The result not only isn't favorable but disappointing and, in fact will continue to promote alienation and emotional abuse on wifes part.  In spite of all the findings outlined about alienation and emotional abuse in the judges ruling, the court didn't follow up with the recommended parenting time or the intervention necessary to stop that process and allow you the opportunity to repair your relationship with the children.    This person goes onto say that the PC is put in a no win situation as it is asking him to change the time of parenting. 

There also were significant discrepancies saying that I get sole authority to make legal decisions because of wife's previous behaviors, but then in another part of ruling it says she has the authority.  There were many other contradictions also. 

Question:  has anyone done an appeal?  any luck? cost?  time frame?  Did you regret it afterwards as it did not change anything.  My kids are already almost 2 years older since this started.  My youngest is still 4 but 2nd oldest is graduating high school this year. 

Appreciate any thoughts. 

One thing about appeals, reconsiderations and objections is that you need to comply strictly with the submission time frame.  One member here, david, had a bad ruling from the court and the judge strung him along saying it might be modified but then on the last possible day for an appeal the judge said No and then he rushed to file his appeal in the last hour but he was sent back and forth between locations so that it was too late.

Also, you will need an experienced local attorney to write or review your appeal, you don't want it rejected if incomplete or not properly worded.  I've heard that you can't include any testimony or documentation in an appeal that wasn't put "on the record".  In other words, you can't add new testimony or new documents.  I'm sure it is entirely proper to contest contradictory findings or conclusions.  And a good lawyer will tell you which are the biggest mistakes to highlight and perhaps even some you  didn't notice.

Sorry, we're not lawyers here, we're peer support. |iiii

If you win, the appeals court gives its opinion, and then it goes back to the original court and you're still standing in front of the same judge.

What do you have now and what do you want to have?  Why are you unable to repair the relationship? What do you need to do that?
Does your ex have BPD?

If the ruling contains contradictions you may want to start by asking the court to clarify its orders. I would figure out what you need to repair the relationship with the kids and petition the court for what you need. Don't dwell on percentages. Repair the relationship and you will be okay. BPD's always hang themselves eventually. Not most of the time. Always.

FD,

Thanks for the info.  I think my lawyer should be good.  I will make sure she is on target with the timelines. 

Sluggo

My SO's divorce decree was written up by the custody evaluator at the request of the judge because at the end of the divorce my SO and his ex were both pro se.  It was both inaccurate and incomplete, he was able to go back to the court and request clarification on the end date of his alimony (he needed to provide the documentation to his Payroll Department).  The court reviewed the case/decree and completed the information... .so he could end the alimony! Yay!  :)

So yes you can have the court review your decree for inaccuracies and to make corrections.  Your lawyer should be able to help you with that.

Panda39

sfbayjed and Panda, 


The findings and conclusion of law are contradictory in the decree.  It is 30 plus pages long.  The lawyers nor PC know what the order says because of the contradictions in the order.  It seems the judge may have just cut and paste in items from the lawyers without really seeing that everything was coherent... .such as saying I have legal custody but then later says wife has legal custody. The judge gave authority to PC to dictate the what the parenting time should be.  PC and lawyers say that was not correct to do. 

We thought about clarifying orders, however my lawyers said there is just too many contradictions and the ruling could get rewritten.  Wife has clinical diagnosis and reported in the CE and in court testimony. 

It seems like a cluster.  Judge retires in a few months. 

Thank you!

Sluggo

My ex appealed 4 of the rulings. To defend the appeal, I had to hire an appellate lawyer.

Appeals are very technical, at least where I live. They live and die on technicalities. My L, who was excellent, did not believe she had the level of knowledge needed to handle an appeal.

From what I understand, the appellate judge is looking for signs that the hearing was not conducted fairly (like favoritism displayed by the judge, which has to be proven against a set of criteria), or that certain technicalities of law were not met. On top of that, the appeal has to follow procedure in a way that can seem absurd to laypeople. My appellate lawyer was more expensive than my regular lawyer.

I sat in the hearing and only understood a tenth of what was being discussed. It was not like trying to follow along in a regular family law court.

It's a good sign that your judge retires in a few months. That might make it less complicated for the appellate judges to overturn the hearing. Family law court judges are considered "supreme witnesses" and judges do not like to get in the business of overturning appeals of fellow judges, on principle. According to my L. So when something is overturned on appeal, it's usually done based on technicalities. It's been a while and the details are fuzzy, but these are the things coming to mind from memory... .

The fact that you have an outright contradiction on something so important as legal custody is bizarre!

Does your L have experience with appellate law?

I never experienced such confusion in our orders. The fact that the order can't be discerned by the attorneys or the PC should be enough to get something done. I would think, at minimum, the appeals court would give it back to the judge and ask for clarification. If that happens I would also request the reasons why as far as the clarifications go. I don't know if the system works that way  or not but that makes sense to me.
Our state supreme court changed the law a few years back and ruled that all custody issues must be decided by a judge and a pc or anyone else can not change or make a custody order. It also said that all custody decisions must have a written reason by the judge.