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Title: Mom who cant go of her adult Daughter Post by: Webgirl1 on September 08, 2017, 08:32:52 PM Hey,
I'm a mom of two babies and married. I was adopted at age 6 after being in foster care since age 4. I was adopted by a family who was pretty strict in rules but seemed good until i hit my teens when i wanted a little freedom. Freedom in that house was not a possibility because anything i did was watched or stalked. well i don't want to go all into my life but have been struggling lately after many tries of cutting all contact with my mother. My mom has always found a way no matter what to find things out and control things. I'm so stressed and depressed lately that my love life and my kids are feeling the effects and i hate it. So i will give a little more information on what my mother is doing I had Facebook she would go through everything i posted all my friends and my friends pages and if there was anything she didn't like or agree she would tell me to delete them. She even went through my husbands Facebook page and asked who everyone was on there and asked why he has some woman on there. when i cut her off Facebook by blocking and even leaving Facebook all together she found ways to get hold of me by email, house phone, cell phone or calling my husband and friends. wouldn't stop until i ended up giving in and answering. she knows everything i do including things i haven't told anyone about other than my husband. she bring up things from my past and my husbands past and makes us feel bad. One minute she is all sweet getting us things for our babies the next when i don't do something she wants or don't answer her call she lashing out in anger with stuff. Well i am done with this post it was a lot of information and probably very confusing. I'm not emotionally ready to get a restraining order and don't even think that will stop her from getting information. I'm so emotional and trying to just focus on my husband and kids Any advice would be amazing. Title: Re: Mom who cant go of her adult Daughter Post by: Turkish on September 09, 2017, 01:28:26 AM Hi Webgirl1,
I'm adopted from foster care, too, at 2.5, by a BPD mother I finally determined in my early 40s. Do you have an adoptive father, or was this a single parent adoption? Mine was single parent. Your mother, as you know, is crossing all sorts of boundaries. Looking back, I also saw how things got worse in my teens. I was abandoned in family therapy at 13 even, to "fix" me. I hear that she is interfering with you and your husband. Are there wider relationships in which she may be enlisting others? How is her relationship with your kids? Turkish Title: Re: Mom who cant go of her adult Daughter Post by: Webgirl1 on September 09, 2017, 08:08:39 AM I was adopted by a couple. My adopted dad and i got along great we was really close but he is also being controlled by my mother so when i moved out she started controlling his emails and phone calls with me so i don't get to talk to my dad like i wish.
Yes my husband and I agree that it is time to do something because she is causing a lot of stress and frustration in our marriage. Our two kids are under the age of 3 and its difficult to focus on them when i'm getting thrown under the bush about everything from my mom. |