BPDFamily.com

So, i am back on the forum after 5 months that the relationship ended. So, basically we had a short relationship, many ups and downs, the typical EXTREME valuation phase and then an evem more EXTREME devaluation phase. I broke up with her, tried to fix things, she didnt want to and then replaced me with a new guy in the same week.

So, in the first month i went through absolute hell, i really did. Im talking about hell. Sleepless nights, 24/7 overthinking, pain. Etc.

So, there i was absolutely shocked to see that the person who told me that i was God's gift to her, her saviour, her cure, the man of her dreams, the one she would marry, with someone else in less than a week. So, things changed pretty quick, from the man of her dreams and God's gift to her, i became the biggest piece of cr*p in this world, a criminal, an absolute beast among men, devil, Adolph Hitler himself!

So, as i became this, her new guy became her fantastic love, the one who came to save her, her true love, her prince, the one she would marry, a dream turned into reality.

Long story short, 2months after they broke up and this guy who she replaced me with who was everything to her that i stated above, is now also a piece of cr*p, a criminal, an absolute beast... .Ah you know the rest.

So, after this guy, shortly after... .Hold up hold up... .YOU GUESSED IT: Comes another guy! The one to save her! The Prince! This! That! This and that!
In a matter of weeks... .Down it goes.

Last month, she unblocked me, followed me on instagram and liked several of my pictures waiting a response. She waited 3 days, i didnt move a finger, didnt follow her or didnt give her any sign. She then blocked me and went on with her life.

3rd New guy (this week): She has found someone, she's already posting pictures with him, he is her biggest love, they're all cuddled up together and she wants to marry him asap!

Obviously this wont last and this guy will suffer the same path me and the other dummies did.


CONCLUSION: If anyone in here has been in a break up with a borderline, recent or maybe its months and they have replaced you quickly DO NOT think that its your fault, that its because the other person is better than you either physically or psychologically or because of any STATUS, that does not count. This is my realization 5 months after, part of the reason of my suffering was the pain of being replaced, the pain of thinking that this guy is better than me in every single aspect and that she chose him over me. See the story? The same way she replaced me, she replaced the guy who she replaced me with, and then she replaced the guy she replaced the guy who replaced me. It's a never ending pattern, a rollercoaster that does not stop for nothing, it's a constant of Up's and Downs where there isnt even a second to breathe.

Read the cases above, this is literally the life of a borderline, but just one hundred times over, this is the same pattern they will repeat all their lifes: Valuation, devaluation descartation. They will never be able to form a long lasting stable relationship, they will never form a family, they will never have stability or happiness.

If you're wondering if your ex-borderlines new relationship will fail, i did too months ago and let me tell you: It will! And so will the next after that one! And the next, and the next and the next! These people are emotional parasites, and once they suck whatever they have to suck out of their prey (victim) they move into another one.

This is standard behaviour, their own destiny is already defined by their own nature. It's either this, suicide or ending in a mental facility.

Feel sorry for these people but never in your life get close to them in any way shape or form.

Reading your story makes me feel grateful that I never really did know for sure whether my exBPD replaced me. However I did notice that she was back on Match, then off for a few days and then back on. Total time was probably about a month and now she's been off for at least a month.

So I guess I have kind of gone through the same thing wondering if she has replaced me, not knowing for sure.

But after reading these boards and plenty of online psychology of borderline personality disorder, it is likely that I was replaced fairly quickly. She was

Not sure why but I actually feel a little better after reading this.

Op

How did you find out about the other guys? Social Media ?

Hi iNfected,

I'm not familiar with your story as you're posting under a new name I believe, so forgive me for asking but how long was your relationship?  I can hear that you have been feeling a great deal of hurt and anger.  It's very tough to be replaced I know.  For me it felt insulting after what we went through together, so I can understand your feelings entirely.  How are you doing now and what have you been doing to help yourself with your healing?


I think it only fair that I add that some pwBPD do manage to go on from treatment to lead a life that isn't impacted by their maladaptive coping mechanisms, by learning and implementing new strategies that help them to manage their emotions and responses to them.  At the same time I can see that you are feeling wounded by what has happened and it's OK to feel that way.  How can we best support you at this time in your detaching?

Love and light x