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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting => Topic started by: MarkTwain on September 09, 2017, 02:23:54 PM



Title: Completely out to lunch understanding of court?
Post by: MarkTwain on September 09, 2017, 02:23:54 PM
Curious... .

uBPDxw - left court, demanded sleep overs scheduled... .

In court we had an hour, 45 mins was her rambling on incoherently about stuff that had nothing to do with the topic. And the judge telling her to sit down and be quiet.

We never even got to her request for parenting time changes as a result. And she threw a fit that just about landed her in the cells.

However she magically believes the judge granted her request for overnight visits ?

Is it just mine who does this? I don't even understand where she thinks this may have occured?

I swear some days there must be voices in her head... .


Title: Re: Completely out to lunch understanding of court?
Post by: flourdust on September 09, 2017, 07:08:01 PM
Have you received a written order from the judge yet?


Title: Re: Completely out to lunch understanding of court?
Post by: ForeverDad on September 09, 2017, 08:51:23 PM
What the ex believes, or insists upon, doesn't matter.  The order is what matters.  If your ex wants to argue about it, decline and follow the order.  If police get called or some other authority intervenes, refer to the latest applicable written order.

If it has changed, then as flourdust wrote be sure you get a copy of the order and follow it.  To ensure you aren't caught off guard without it, keep copies with you, in the car, at work, at home and even a couple spares just in case.

Overall, courts and the professionals used by the courts usually decline to diagnose a PD.  Well, unless a murder or something like that is involved.   Court deals with people the way they are, warts and poor behaviors included.  Whether your ex actually believes what she claims, who can say for sure?  However, I lean toward some level of awareness/cognition since they are aware enough to slant everything the way they want and, interestingly, often know just how far they can go and not get immediate consequences.


Title: Re: Completely out to lunch understanding of court?
Post by: MarkTwain on September 09, 2017, 10:10:47 PM
Around here - about the soonest I've gotten an order was 60 days. Outside of a true emergency in the judges eyes - where it's drafted by the clerk and signed on the spot. I just got our may order as a matter of fact.

But yeah, lawyer confirmed - she is completely out to lunch on what she thinks happened. I was 98.7% sure, the legalese gets me at times.

Just makes me laugh, I wish I could put transcripts with her emails and use it to demonstrate why she's not fit... .


Title: Re: Completely out to lunch understanding of court?
Post by: sweetheart on September 10, 2017, 07:49:07 AM

In answer to your question MarkTwain, yes my h's disordered and seriously distorted perception of reality often leaves me incredulous.
I understand the disorder, but sometimes I catch myself thinking, 'Really you heard that, that's what you believe is happening/just happened?'   and then I have to just let it go... .


Title: Re: Completely out to lunch understanding of court?
Post by: 40days_in_desert on September 10, 2017, 08:37:41 AM
You're not the only one.


Title: Re: Completely out to lunch understanding of court?
Post by: david on September 10, 2017, 10:00:27 AM
My ex filed a petition to have me removed from our house. The judge denied it. We both had attorneys. The next day she arrived with the police. The police told me I had 15 minutes to leave the premises. They had a copy of the petition and it was not signed by the judge. I tried to tell them that the judge did not sign the petition but ex had them convinced that did not matter. I was standing in the driveway and called my attorney. I handed the phone to the officer. The police explained that she needed a signature for it to be enforceable.
Whatever doesn't fit my ex's narrative in her head she pretty much ignores and does what she thinks/believes/feels. We have been divorced since 2010, have a solid court order for custody with no wiggle room or misinterpretations. It took until around 2014 or 2015 before she followed the order without me having to quote it in an email. I still have to "remind" her from time to time what the order says.