BPDFamily.com

Moderator note: due to a change in circumstances, this post was split from another thread: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=313510.0;all

Hey guys, haven't posted in a while.  been a busy time.  seems like I last posted a lifetime ago, but I see it was only about a month.  we did agree to table the divorce talk and try to work things out again, and get counseling.

been three times now; first time was bad, second time was better.  third time was bad.  second time counselor ID'd my wife as having jealousy issues and trust issues, over her constant accusations of infidelity, etc. etc. wife didn't like that, but agreed to stop doing it and had more or less been decent about it since then.

a couple weeks ago, wife asked me to talk to my mom and arrange a time for us all to talk.  well last weekend I finally did that, and of course it "triggered" wife's issues... .immediately insisting she didn't want to talk to my mom b/c my mom won't return her calls and all this other nonsense I of course am unaware of and have no way of knowing.

I went into this saying I was willing to try in good faith, but I wasn't going to hold back in MC like I did last time, out of fear she would make my life miserable all week long if I said my piece.

therapist told us we had to agree to not fight over things said in MC during the week, only in MC sessions.  we both agreed, but now she keeps making catty passive agressive comments.  stuff like saying "You do?" when I tell her I love her and give her a kiss in the morning.  I know she's fighting back over me trying to hold the line on boundaries.  

I feel in my heart like 90% of our relationship is great... .and it's only this 10% of the time my mom or family comes up that we have problems.  but I think if it wasn't that, it would be something else.  and it's not "just 10%" either when I'm honest with myself; she lets her anger over this spoil the relationship completely.  she can't control herself.