|
Title: I think I'm a masochist Post by: Shedd on September 30, 2017, 01:22:05 PM "Think about it: How stressful it would be if those apprehensive butterflies and extreme can't-stop-thinking-about-you attraction you felt towards your ex at first lasted throughout your whole relationship? If this were the case, human beings as a species wouldn't be able to actually survive."
I found this in an article... .And I do have to say I had those feelings the ENTIRE relationship. I was still on cloud 9, confused, but still on cloud 9 with her even in the end. Even though she hurt me, even though she put me through hell. I should probably mention that this was my first real relationship ever. I'm 30. So what does this say about me? I think I am a masochist and enjoy the torture. I keep going on her FB page. I just can't help it. I think she's in a new relationship. And this would be the 4 girl I think she's seeing since she got her FB back up. It only lasts up to 7 months with her. Is it sad I know the timeline of her love life? I don't know how to let her go. I don't know how to get over her. I've tried so many things. I'm even leaving work in a month to a new store so I'm hoping by not seeing her at all will help. Title: Re: I think I'm a masochist Post by: Sunfl0wer on September 30, 2017, 04:10:44 PM Not sure I'd call it masochism, maybe, but when I first heard the term "trauma bond" and did some googling on it, it all made sense to me.
Maybe try googling trauma bond if you have not already. Title: Re: I think I'm a masochist Post by: Lucky Jim on October 02, 2017, 11:26:18 AM Hey Shedd, Your inability to let go is a common complaint in the aftermath of a BPD r/s. Don't beat yourself up! I doubt you are a masochist. The way out, I suggest, involves returning the focus to yourself. Strive to be authentic; get back to being who you are at your core; as Nietzsche said, "Become who you are." You get the idea.
LuckyJim Title: Re: I think I'm a masochist Post by: Fie on October 02, 2017, 02:53:57 PM Hello Shedd
I want to echo what Sunflower said about trauma bonding. I can recommend the book 'from abandonment to healing', it made a lot of sense for me. xx Title: Re: I think I'm a masochist Post by: Skip on October 02, 2017, 03:19:23 PM This is the source of your quote:
https://www.elitedaily.com/life/psychology-closure-long-really-takes-get-ex/912245 In the context of the article, it is saying that the described paragraph doesn't happen. |