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Oh boy, so I get super irked at the thought of what she has told all her friends and new r/s person about me.  Yes, I used drugs before we met, yes I quit said drugs before we were together, I am also still been clean even after being devastated by the break-up.  I will never see any of those people again but it still bothers me that they now have whatever image she painted for them of me.  "She was a junky who hated herself"  That is totally inaccurate and it pisses me off when I think of it.  I want to email every one of those people that I met and explain myself but I know that will only make me look crazy!   I also what to text her and tell her to quit telling lies about me... .erg!

Just sharing, thanks for listening!

Hi PaticAttack,

You’re right that it won’t look good if you email her friends. Let’s flip this the other way around, would your friends take her side? Friends tend to be loyal.

The truth has a way of working itself out. If you don’t give her attention the sooner that this will go away. Keep your chin up.

It's always good to stay above the drama. Rather than getting in the trenches with your BPD partner. If you get down and dirty too, you're no better than your BPD partner.

Stay calm and cool no matter what. It will pass.

Your clean today? Just let it go. Great advice. The old saying
" What other people think of me is none of my business"
I think that's how it goes.
My exBPD emailed my boss about the letter U sent her post breakup about my drinking. It was not true and it just made my boss mad that she contacted him.
In your case, you will never have contact with any of them?

PaticAttack,

I feel you on this. My ex told such a warped version of everything that happened that her friends and even her mom sent me nasty messages. At first, this really devastated me, but I got to the point where I realized there's no point in concerning myself with ANYTHING to do with my ex.

If they don't realize it now, all of those people will eventually realize that my ex, and yours too, is unstable.

The slander has just gotten worse for me unfortunately; my ex has now taken to social media to call me abusive and toxic and manipulative and a chronic liar. Mutual friends who don't know the details of everything/how sick she is see these posts.

It's a struggle- especially knowing my ex did SO many abusive things (literally assaulted me) that I could go around telling everyone but I don't.

At the end of the day, I have gotten to a point where I just shut her out of my head as completely as possible. I don't check her social media, I avoid places I know she could potentially be. It took me a while to get to this point but I am here and doing so much better because of it.