BPDFamily.com

My BPD wife and i have court meeting on Oct 17. I'm planning it with attorney. My wife has practiced parental alienation since the birth of our children. Does anyone have experience presenting PA in court? My attorney isn't familiar with PA. Do I need a psychlogist to consult with to prepare?

Any advice is appreciated!

I'm sorry you're going through this.

You may want to do some sleuthing to first find out how your family law court views PA.

It used to be called Parental Alienation Syndrome, except it was not a theory built on evidence-based research that passed the sniff test. So there was a backlash against parental alienation being discussed as a syndrome, which kinda trickled down to the way courts respond to allegations of parental alienation.

In my court, it isn't the labels that anyone cares about, it's the behaviors. How would you describe the specific behaviors your wife engages in?

If you are trying to show evidence of parental alienation, it can be helpful to get a third-party professional involved, say though a custody evaluation or, if your ex is highly dysregulated, a psych eval for her. If you're in California, Dr. Craig Childress may do consulting with you to help explain how it is connected to BPD pathology, and what you can do in your court system to help your case.

A coparenting counselor or parenting coordinator can also get involved. You have to pick these professionals very carefully!

How old are the kids, and what are some of the signs that they are experiencing parental alienation?

Expanding on what LnL wrote, the experts just didn't like the way Dr Richard Gardner.  That he was reported to have committed suicide probably didn't lend credibility to the PA subject.

More recently Dr Craig A. Childress modified that approach, briefly written, he has addressed the parental alienation attempts as a form of child abuse, something that somehow does fit more closely a lot of the experts' models.  There are some topics here discussing his approach and he has a website as well detailing his thoughts and approaches.  You could do well to investigate that and perhaps locate a professional familiar with his descriptions.

My thought was to start documenting (hidden from your wife of course) the instances and behaviors that you are seeing, this way you can document a pattern of behavior.

Are you seeing a therapist at all?  You might want to get some help/advice on how you can combat the alienation that is already going on while you are still in the home.

A book you might want to check out if you haven't already... .again not something you want laying around on the coffee table... .
Divorce Poison New and Updated Edition: How to Protect Your Family from Bad-mouthing and Brainwashingby Dr. Richard A. Warshak

Panda39

Thank you Panda. I've been documenting everything I see concerning PA. So much has been behind my back, so documenting catches only a small portion.

My wife doesn't feed them at home. She takes them out for dinner after work each night. Also she wont allow me to speak and defend myself to our kids. Also wont allow me to speak in private with them. She eavesdrops or get mad if I try it. If I try speaking to them, she has taught them to refuse to listen. However they have no issue listening to her bash me.

All of this is deep rooted. She started this when they were very young. I couldn't stop it.

How old are the kids now?

Good morning Lived&learned- We have a 21 yr old daughter with severe BPD, whom was diagnosed 3 years ago and lives with us when she isnt at her new boyfriend's house. Also have a daughter 17, son 14 today. Just old enough to be confused by their mom's BPD behavior without knowing the real impact of it.

Eventually they'll figure it out but it will be too late.