BPDFamily.com

I am such a non-chaotic, non-dramatic kind of person, and because of my lack of experience with mental illness ten years ago, I am now surrounded by chaos and drama. Yuck is all I have to say.

It would appear that my H and his P are having an affair. I see, and will hire, my attorney today and I will bring it to his attention.

I will refrain from asking if this could get any weirder, as I do not want to tempt the universe.

Moving forward, I will keep connected with that part of myself who is still non-chaotic, non-dramatic.

Geez. Just geez.

TMD

While his having a partner now may be a consideration for yourself emotionally, for strategies and leverage, overall most states in the USA don't care much about adult behaviors.  That was the purpose of "no fault" divorces, to remove the blaming from divorce cases and make them simpler to resolve.  (Well, except that nothing is simple for PD cases.)

Your lawyer may have greater detail on how this might, or might not, affect the prenup, the divorce and outcome.

However, this knowledge may help you Gift yourself Closure about the relationship's demise.  You won't get closure from him.

Hi Forever Dad,
  I'm in a no-fault state, so my concern isn't with H having sex with women (or men apparently). Really. My H has made it cruelly, abundantly, and publicly clear about my failure as a sexual partner rather it's the P's behavior. It's a huge violation of trust.
TMD

So be true to yourself.  Those who know you, really know you, won't be conned by his hurtful claims.

Thanks, Forever Dad.   
TMD