BPDFamily.com

Hello,

So I've had a few posts on here regarding my most recent relationship with a young woman with codependent/shame-based traits, and I've been attempting to deal with my own.

Recently she and I agreed that no longer living together is the healthiest thing, so that we can focus more on ourselves. I've been sleeping in my own room since this idea came up, to try and detach some of the feelings I have that make me anxious/negative/hard to be around regarding this relationship. Thus, I've been doing better at work, getting along with coworkers better, etc.

I had a dream last night that she was seeing an old friend of mine who is no longer in my life or on the map at all... .No one can really find him. I don't think this is directly indicative that she's shady, but could represent fears of abandonment on my part. I do keep track of my dreams, and how they feel, and they have been MUCH less negative since sleeping in my own room and since knowing she's leaving. However, this one crept in and I'm not sure how to handle this. I have considered just breaking up, but she and I do see value in continuing our relationship once she moves out. However, now I wonder if the healthiest thing to do would be to just break it off after she leaves.

Now, if I were to do that I'm afraid I wouldn't be actually solving anything on my part. Is it better to just slowly detach to the point where I'm no longer wondering what she's doing while she's at work (she drives a taxi, basically)?