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Title: Easier to recover from a BPD than a Non? Post by: soonbefree on October 08, 2017, 12:10:59 AM Dumped by a BPD exbf 2 months ago, apart from mostly believe, I found out that it is much easier to forgive him and not to blame him. What can he do? This illness is powerfully controlling him. I feel I am not betrayed by him but by a disease instead. I pity him it must be horribly awful having this disorder.
Off course still a bumpy road everyday. Reading/watching about BPD relationship recovery tips helps a lot. Anybody experience the same? That move on from a BPD actually easier than from a Non? Title: Re: Easier to recover from a BPD than a Non? Post by: enlighten me on October 08, 2017, 11:18:05 AM I think it all depends on the person.
My exgf appeared to get over me quickly but then again shes had more practice. Two marriages and several live in partners plus countless boyfriends means that shes been there a lot more than me. She may regret things she may not. She may dwell on her mistakes or she may not even think about it only she knows. My uBPD ex wife doesn't seem to have got over me completely. Even though she has re married she seems to make any excuse to have contact with me. Title: Re: Easier to recover from a BPD than a Non? Post by: Lost-love-mind on October 08, 2017, 02:10:11 PM Hate the disease, not the person.
It's tough. My exBPD gf seemed so self aware. She may have found my replacement before she dumped me. What hurts the most is her NC and then her vile insults. Her accusations that I'm a narcissistic, yet I scored low on the spectrum. Her entire rejection of my reaching out. I'm trying to make sense of the entire PD spectrum. Title: Re: Easier to recover from a BPD than a Non? Post by: Mutt on October 08, 2017, 03:57:26 PM I’ve always had a hard time with break ups, most of the women I dated had BPD traits, my exuBPDw has the most severe traits it was the hardest break up because:
- it was the longest relationship I had - I had more invested in that relationship than any other before that, we had kids together, loans, credit cards etc... . - It was the most heartbreaking because I really believed that we’d grow old together, the dream was destroyed - My anxiety and mood disorder was untreated for years, it was the worst depression I had gone through after we broke up Having said that, I think that it will be easier moving forward, I do have a girlfriend now that’s not telegraphing BPD traits although there is some black and white thinking, I think that it could possibly be because of her culture. A r/s doesn’t define who I am now, if she says something that she doesn’t lik it doesn’t throw me for a tailspin thinking that there’s something wrong with me, she has empathy, she’s not impaired with empathy like my exuBPDw, my s of esteem is higher than when I was with my ex. It was the worst breakup experience that I ever had but it was also an opportunity to learn more about myself, I know now what areas that needed work, self esteem, treat my anxiety disorder and mood disorder, show myself self compassion instead of neglecting my needs, validate myself, blundaries, Icould of think of more reasons but I’ll leave it at this. |