BPDFamily.com

 

my teenage girl has been diagnosed with BPD. I have one child and I am single now, separated for four years and it is beyond difficult. i.e. no cheesecake left in the  fridge so she kicks the fridge... we rent, its stainless steel,,,I M LOOKING FOR SUPPORT

Very sorry to hear that. I am going through something similar.

I certainly don't have the answers.

Therapy is important, for her alone and for both of you together. So if that hasn't started you should look into it.
it is also a double edged sword. If the therapist tells her she is wrong, then we all suffer after the session.

For me I had a 15 year staying with me that shows signs of a PD. She is in therapy, when she has those melt downs it makes for a very long day and the other kids get neglected.
I have to just keep sticking with her. Through all of the abuse it is pretty tough. I want to just run off and hide.

You need to stay strong. Consistent. What is your support system like?

Their actions make no sense sometimes. I have to keep reminding myself it is just a kid.

I know my daughter is just a kid, but she is skipping school and things seem to being going from bad to worse. she is in a lot of pain and I am trying to help. I called in to work, and I am afraid I will lose my job, this is what supports us. she calls me useless, tells me to leave, and just is generally impossible to talk to. I want to be there for her... .she says she hates me, I don't understand all of this and how we got here. Can someone please tell me the best route to take

 

I hear those same things. I fear i will hurt my job as well. In my case i keep working with her. If i can get her past the fear and anxiety we can work through stuff.
Soi basically tell her this is the way it is going to be. She yells, screams. Throughs a fit. Abuses me.
I leave. When i come back she is usually accepting the changes and still not happy but she has at least accepted it and we can try to have a constructive conversation

I dont see it, but in my case other people that talk to her say that therapy is helping and i know she is trying and doesnt want to be like this but she cant help herself yet and she doesnt trust me so i cant help her.

When you get to the point they are running off and skipping school i would involve a 3rd party. A counselor would know who to call but one thing d15 always pauses at is the fear of going back for another psych eval or night in juvy hall.she has done both.
A couple times
It is a last resort threat but when she is  down the street running awayit is the only way to stop her

Mom of One I am sorry to meet you under such circumstances. My D was also DX@16 after many hospitalizations and self harm.  She spent 8 months in a residential program as a last resort and each day is one of recovery. I wish I could say the treatment thus far has "cured" her, it hasn't. However, it did provide her along with the rest of our family with many tools to make our day to day life more bearable. 

Is your DD currently on meds?  If so, I hope she is compliant.  My D had gone thru a phase when I thought she was compliant, but she wasn't and that was he**.   For her the meds are a key component, along with therapy and a therapeutic high school.

I agree with the previous post in terms of skipping school, request a meeting with her school counselor and lay down guidelines.  Maybe she is having problems with another student, teacher, class?  My D had developed such severe anxiety we we needed to find an alternative school.  Does she have an IEP?  If not, she may benefit from one.

There are no quick fixes, but I wanted to let you know you are not alone, and are in very good company here.

Keep your chin up and do something kind for yourself today :)