BPDFamily.com

Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: unicorn2014 on October 12, 2017, 11:15:15 PM



Title: I'm done
Post by: unicorn2014 on October 12, 2017, 11:15:15 PM
So, he finally moved out to my county and got his belongings from my apartment that I had been holding for over 2 years. Of course he was all hurt and bent out of shape that I was giving back things he had given to me. Needless to say I wasn't giving  them back to make some point, I was giving them back because I simply don't have the space for them.

At this point in time I have no interest in pursuing a romantic relationship with him or even a friendship. He's argumentative, difficult, willful, imposing, aggressive.

I've always known high  conflict personalities in my life and I'm tired of it. Its one thing at work where I don't have a choice, its a whole other thing in my personal life when I do have a choice.

I'm tired of having a relationship where its all about the other person all the time and their wants, needs, and feelings.

I don't know how to disengage now that its no longer a long distance relationship. He could come to my work or my home. He's renting from a member of my church and lives within walking distance of my church and is a short drive from my home and work.


Title: Re: I'm done
Post by: Harley Quinn on October 14, 2017, 07:05:58 PM
Hi Unicorn2014on,

Excerpt
I don't know how to disengage now that its no longer a long distance relationship.

It must have been hard seeing him and giving him the things you were holding for him.  Unless he collected these when you were not around?  How long have you been out of the r/s and what is the current situation between you?  Are you in regular contact and if so, what are the things that necessitate this, such as finances, etc?  It sounds like you have resolve to want better relationships in your life and are assessing your values.  So he has moved closer to you.  That's difficult I can imagine, for the distance between you to get significantly shorter.  What are your boundaries like?

Love and light x



Title: Re: I'm done
Post by: unicorn2014 on October 19, 2017, 01:35:07 AM
Hi Unicorn2014on,

It must have been hard seeing him and giving him the things you were holding for him.  Unless he collected these when you were not around?  How long have you been out of the r/s and what is the current situation between you?  Are you in regular contact and if so, what are the things that necessitate this, such as finances, etc?  It sounds like you have resolve to want better relationships in your life and are assessing your values.  So he has moved closer to you.  That's difficult I can imagine, for the distance between you to get significantly shorter.  What are your boundaries like?

Love and light x



It's a bit irritating. He says he moved to my county to be with me but I'm not excited. I did tell him that I'm only willing to be friends with him, not more.