BPDFamily.com

Hi everyone

I am 2 months NC with an exception of 2-3 texts when I had to answer a medical question for my ex 2 wks ago. The rest of the time we have been total NC. I can tell you this:
Month #1: I felt restless, madly obsessed with her and what she's doing. How she is making love, my mind was drawing detailed images of what she would be doing. I was so hurt thinking she might be doing what we used to do, now calling him baby etc... .like a million knives to my heart. I thought of her every hour of the day.
Month #2: I am still thinking of her every hour but my obsession has gotten less severe. I have started to accept that she is with someone else now and there is nothing I can do about it. I accepted that I am no longer in control and starting to look within myself at wanting to control situations around me. I have recently been learning from my T that I can only control my thoughts and behavior. Nothing I can do will change the fact that my ex moved on. I didn't beg or plead to her, but she has not reached out. Thought of emailing her telling her that I love her no matter what and I wish her the best... .but I didn't because I realized a part of it was actually subconsciously manipulative on my part. Once I realized that, I didn't send it. Maybe a part of me wants her attention? another part of me wants her to remember our R/S and long for it? so when I really thought about the intention, I didn't send it. I might send it one day when I genuinely mean it and I have 100% detached.

Please share with use your recovery stages in terms of weeks or months.
When does the fog lift?
when did you stop thinking of her all day?
When did you start living your life knowing she is part of the past and there is no hope that she will come back?
When did you get over the denial stage?

I look forward to hearing everyone's journey. Due to my abandonment struggles, mine has been very painful. I have been seeing a T in regards to letting go in general. I have had a hard time letting her go. I still want her back.