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Title: Daughter's New Relationship - Could he be BPD? Post by: OnPinsAndNeedles on October 21, 2017, 05:25:38 PM My daughter is dating a new man, and she has shared some things with me about their dates that have me worried. Do you think these could be signs that the man has BPD?
1. Laughing for no apparent reason. 2. Comments like, "Can you be anymore wonderful" and "Everything you do is perfect" on the first date. 3. Claims previous girlfriend wasn't "emotionally available" to him. 4. Comments like, "You're not going to run out on me" and "You don't know what you have gotten yourself into" and "I don't think that love lasts" on the second date. 5. Quit previous job because "There was too much drama." 6. Coworkers at this job said that he was paranoid, and hard to please. I told my daughter not to rush into anything, but I'm really worried that this guy might be BPD. Title: Re: Daughter's New Relationship - Could he be BPD? Post by: formflier on October 21, 2017, 09:42:27 PM I've got a couple older kids that are dating now. I ask them directly about different qualities and things they see... . I would suggest you "listen" more than you "warn". Ask questions about what she thought it would mean. But... yes... .those things would be red flags for me... . FF Title: Re: Daughter's New Relationship - Could he be BPD? Post by: OnPinsAndNeedles on October 22, 2017, 12:43:47 PM Thanks for your advice, formflier! You're are absolutely right. I have been in the warning mode, and it hasn't been working very well. I can tell I am only stressing out my daughter, and she is getting more reluctant to share. It's because I grew up with a BPD mother, and I don't want her to have to endure what I lived with as a child. I am going to start using the "what do you think this means?" approach, and let her formulate her own conclusions.
Title: Re: Daughter's New Relationship - Could he be BPD? Post by: formflier on October 22, 2017, 07:52:55 PM Even better... .ask what she said or she asked.
The best thing to do for confusing statements... .is to clarify them... .when said. So... .he says... ."you don't know what your are getting into"... .your daughter asks... ."what does that mean" Followed by... ."please explain what I am getting into"... . FF Title: Re: Daughter's New Relationship - Could he be BPD? Post by: OnPinsAndNeedles on October 23, 2017, 12:07:43 PM I suggested asking for clarification on "You don't know what you have gotten yourself into," and when my daughter asked what he meant, she only got laughing in response. He would not answer.
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