BPDFamily.com

Hi All
I haven't posted since 2012 when I last got away from my family. I was doing well but not fantastic being disabled without support. Since then my health deteriorated dramatically and I was diagnosed with Lyme disease. This was 3 years ago and I was living on the opposite side of the country to me parents. I started low contact with them after finding out they were both medicated and my mother had been through 6 years of therapy and my father 3. Dramatic changes in their life in my absence and I tested the waters of LC very carefully. I got to see my nephew and niece who I had never seen and couldn't believe the massive hug I got from my nephew he remembered me all these years. In my absence my youngest brother had gotten a divorce and had also gone NC with my parents and my psychopath brother had started a relationship with our brothers estranged wife meaning he was no longer part of the family dynamic. Anyway fast forward a year and I get told my only option for treatment is to move back to my parents and seek a specialist nearby as the state I was living in wasn't allowing Lyme treatment beyond 3 weeks of doxycycline. I also had extreme copper toxicity, pretty much become dementiaed and was in a very bad way. I left my partner and his kids and moved back with my parents lucky to get a good dr in 3mths. I immediately requested disability support as mum freaked when I asked her to please make sure o was taking my meds and eating as I became bedridden as soon as treatment started. I also requested housing support so I could move out asap. It's now over 18mths and I got caught up in a legislative nightmare where I'm not allowed access to housing without disability suppport but my application for support was rejected. Treatment has improved me somewhat and I'm in the detox, maintenance phase but still not very well. I was asked my housing to get a statutory declaration from my father saying he will assist me maintain my tenancy until disability services are sorted as an interim measure and they can process and backdate my housing application, without assurance of support it's against duty of care and I lose my place in the very long queue for a property. So some reason he involves my suspected BPD mother and 2 days later I get told no can't do it no intention of helping me. So I get upset and say "fine you are stuck with me forever" and walk out. Then I get told my both of them that I have BPD but have been denied not only knowledge of the diagnosis but the treatment. It was major gaslighting I got away to my flat them my mother comes out demanding all my medical reports for the past 16 years and tells me I'm abnormal for wanting to keep these from my mother. I ask her to leave, then demand she leave to which I was threatened with police and told all my things would be put on the footpath is I refused to leave. I told her to call police and went to my bedroom as she was refusing to leave my flat. Both my parents came into my bedroom and continued telling me that I have to put myself into psychiatric care, that my health issues aren't real and all my struggles are from BPD that I have never been diagnosed with and refused treatment for. The next day I was contacted by the hospital I sought treatment with last time they tried to convince me I was severely mentally ill and was assured that they are lying. So now I'm being told the conversation actually never happened. So the past 3 years of apologies and rebuilding trust very slowly and feeling like there was some hope has just been totally crushed and now I'm disabled and ___ing homeless again. Why the ___ did I let this happen? I know I needed to move and have no money and couldn't even drive I was too unwell buthellI'm so over this ___!

Welcome back Nightingale, 

Glad you've come back, but sad with you as to the reasons why with all the turmoil in your family. How often we wish the drama would all go away, right? Betrayal is one of the most difficult things to deal with, especially when it is from someone we love and care about. What a hard choice you've had to make, to move back home due to your illness. I'm so sorry. My D suffers from Lyme as well and has been in treatment for a year. It is tough, beyond tough. It takes courage to go through the treatment. An extra hug for you. 

You are allowed protection of your medical records. No one has to see them whether they pry or beg or threaten you. That is your protected health information. Remember you don't have to JADE.

It is not your fault that you have a debilitating illness. None of us can pick and chose such things, they just happen. Naturally you reached out to those you thought might help you, and in a healthy family they would. Do you have any relatives that you might be able to stay with? What other options could you seek, such as help from a local shelter or church?

 
Wools

Thank you for your response! I'm staying with friends and housing said this incident will escalate things for me as they don't want me so vulnerable with my health issues. Yeah it was a very difficult decision because of my brother there are several PTSD triggers in the house so I made the flat my safe little space it was always meant to be my space after I became disabled my grandparents knew I would struggle but I could never live with my mother any length of time. I though my father was different that he was under the thumb but cared. To tell me he had no intention of helping me and yet not explain why except to start saying they have decided I have BPD and have been getting training and support in how to manage me. It's just devastating when I thought things were genuinely different that my mother had enough therapy to be safe for me to be around. Now I'm back where I was in 2009 when I first sought treatment very confused and thinking it was me only to be told that my memories passed all reality testing and were believed to be real. Except now I have very little money left for treatment, my brain is now impaired as well as my body and most of my friends moved interstate. I'm coming out of the shock and just can't believe the level of manipulation to make me feel safe. The sad thing is I think they truely believe that they are loving and supportive parents and my reaction to their behaviour is unjustified and abnormal. The thing I'm trying not to think about is that they have convinced everyone around them that they need support to cope with having me as a daughter. I don't know if I should try to salvage my relationship with my younger brother and let him know what has just happened or what. How they can think this is acceptable behaviour they know how bloody unwell I have been and still am. They haven't had a problem talking to everyone they come across about having a daughter with Lyme in a country that doesn't recognise it.