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Title: Hi, new member seeking tools to be stronger. Post by: Thatch on October 22, 2017, 12:08:38 AM Hi all. Just joining up for help living with my partner and mother of my 2 children. I just discovered this info on borderline personality disorder and that seems to be what is going on. Any coping tips would be appreciated. Thanks!
Title: Re: Hi, new member seeking tools to be stronger. Post by: livednlearned on October 22, 2017, 03:41:43 PM Hi Thatch,
Welcome and hello :) What are some of the main challenges going on? Glad you found the site, and sorry for the sadness and pain that brings you here. LnL Title: Re: Hi, new member seeking tools to be stronger. Post by: pearlsw on October 22, 2017, 04:28:18 PM Hi Thatch,
Welcome! :) There are many great tips and lessons on the right hand side of the board. I have some background in Mindfulness so taking the time to refresh on that skill and apply it to my current relationship situation has been helpful! I find this one on Don't be Invalidating helpful because it reminds me to speak more carefully/deliberately with my partner: https://bpdfamily.com/content/communication-skills-dont-be-invalidating Is there one that sounds interesting to you? :) Title: Re: Hi, new member seeking tools to be stronger. Post by: Wanda on October 23, 2017, 09:11:26 AM there is a lot on here to read... I love boundaries they are for you not for them. that helped me to be stronger, the thing to remember with boundaries when you set one up if you do this i will do that you have to go through with it... example along time ago when my husband used to road rage it scared me... so my boundary was and u told him he road raged again when i am in the car i won't drive with him for one week. one time he was in my car and raged my boundary was you rage when i am driving u will get out and walk. let me tell you i will never forget it was fathers day and he raged and i stopped told him to get out or i will call the police, he did and walked from noon till 5 or 7 told him to call me when he was ready to act appropriate in a car. i went about my day it was father day, so seen my dad. he finally called he walked along way. to say it never happened again... as far as road rage once he found out i meant buisness that stopped also took a few times but he stopped road rages... another one he calls me and rages on phone i won't answer him for hours i usually gave it a few when he knew i wasn't going to listen to him rage he adventually stopped. due to i would hang up on him. by me doing these things i became stronger i had to call the police only once, he just knew i meant buisness there is a book called boundaries that is a good one to read. Hope this has helped . lots to read on here so keep reading and the more you learn the more it will help you Title: Re: Hi, new member seeking tools to be stronger. Post by: AskingWhy on October 23, 2017, 02:18:18 PM One of my first recommendations in living with a partner with BPD is to not take things personally.
The acting out, rages, threats and other manifestations are not about you but about your partner. It's easy and common to take these things to heart, but try to step away from your immediate responses. You are on the way to understanding how and why BPD functions in the pwBPD. |