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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: Lost-love-mind on October 22, 2017, 06:16:05 AM



Title: Nothing I say or do can change her mind about me
Post by: Lost-love-mind on October 22, 2017, 06:16:05 AM

Elmurr -- exactly like you say -- it was inevitable. Impossible to win. Never enough. It is sad. You say it's a shame because you really liked her --I think we all still actually LOVE our exes.  But the best thing we can do for them (and obviously ourselves) is disappear. And it is so sad. I know, my ex's problem stems from something horrible that happened to her in her youth. I know exactly what it was. It's really not her fault. And I was a conceited jerk to think I could help her   All I can do is pray some day she gets professional help.  

When we were happy we were soo happy. She's a great human being with a crippling emotional problem

Well said. Your words are so true. I fell in love with a woman that has been abused by others in her past. Nothing I say or do can change her mind about me. Yes, I did have lapses of selfish behavior. I'm willing to make amends that she will never accept. Time for me to heal.


Title: Re: Nothing I say or do can change her mind about me
Post by: insideoutside on October 22, 2017, 06:43:30 AM
I haven’t spoken to my friend in over 7 months now.  We’d been back in contact for 18 months after a 26 year absence.  :)uring those 18 months I was subjected to ST, reappearing after telling me he didn’t want me or need me, jibes about my weight, projection about my mental health, constantly asking to meet up and when I arrange things as we live 2 hour drive away he finds some lame excuse to not meet up.  :)espite all this I tried to treat him with respect but our last interaction when he pulled out of meeting up for the umpteenth time (and I warned him I wouldn’t be pleased if he did it again) was explosive.  I said things to him in red mist anger I bitterly regret now but to be honest he was a jerk and had the audacity to turn around and called me nasty and abusive.  This is from somebody who had been emotionally abusive to me for 18 months.  I thought I was somebody reliable he could chat to when he felt down and just be a friend to him but he abused my kindness and obviously saw it as weakness. Although I miss him there’s no way I will contact him again.  He’s not worth the risk to my mental health.  You’ve got to go NC because anything else they see as weakness which is not an attractive trait to them.