BPDFamily.com

I have been married to my husband for 25 years. I had two young children from my first marriage and we had another son so we raised all three boys together(no steps or halves). Both my husband and I had each had our own issues which is how we got together. I was probably along the lines of bipolar of BPD, and should have gotten help(medication) while the kids were growing up. My husband and I fought rather loudly, and it wasnt good for the children. Then 14 years ago our oldest son was tragically killed in a car accident. I bottomed out and my sister finally took me to a psychiatrist. I was basically catatonic from grief. For 8 and a half years I saw a very good psychiatrist. He put me on anti-depressants as well as counseling. During that time our middle son told us that he wanted no more to do with us... .it has been twelve years. Our youngest son has moved away to Ca.  During all of these years my husband went from counselor to counselor and the doctor put him on 6mg of Ativan a day.

     My husband I truly believe has BPD or histronic personality disorder. I am not perfect but the counseling and medication have helped me. My husband yells, talks out loud screaming and complaining for a half hour at a time, sobs and weeps (not crying), gets anger in his voice, feels everything is my fault , that Im unsupportive and the worst wife and Mother ever, and is always envious of others. He feels that every argument has been started by me and is extremely sensitive and takes things as criticisms. Last holiday season my sons girlfriend and her Mother were here, and he got mad because she would not talk with him alone.  She said that she didnt feel comfortable with that because he took everything she said as a criticism. He made a nasty remark to my son, "Well maybe Ill get along with your next girlfriend". We were all so upset that he was so rude to guests in  our home. We started an argument, and then he began raging and yelling, so I finally called the police. They came , but when they did he was calm and made it seem as if I was the one with the problems. They could do nothing. I started writing letters to his psychiatrist, counselor and his regular doctor about his yelling, raging and sobbing and other behaviors that I felt were unhealthy, I even recorded it. For two thirds of the year I have been trying to convince the professionals that he needs help.They have all written it off as "Marital problems" None of them believe me.They have told me that it is none of my business what doctor he sees. Finally my son and his girlfriend wrote to his general doctor  about what they have seen and how they feel he needs help. Finally I thought they would listen. My husband went to see the doctor today; they believe him. He says that he is moving out in the next two weeks, even though he has almost no money. My family is broken up and the doctors and psychiatrists didnt validate anything I told them. A month and a half ago my dear Dad passed. On the way to the calling hours he became angry at me and screamed and yelled at me all the way to the funeral home. I am just devastated... .

Hi Angellight58,

Welcome to the family! It sounds like you are at a real crisis point and have quite a lot going on! I am sorry you are feeling so devastated! I am also sorry for the loss of your father. I know how painful that can be.

You believe both you and your husband have BPD, is that correct? You are feeling disappointed that your doctors have not helped enough with the issues in the family and now your family is breaking apart?

Is your husband planning to leave soon? Or was he just making a threat about this? Do you believe him?

Take care!