BPDFamily.com

www.psychiatryadvisor.com/obsessive-compulsive-and-related-disorders/hoarding-disorder-object-overattachment/article/428777/

Presence or absence of intrusive thoughts
In OCD, obsessions are “repeated, intrusive thoughts,” while in HD, thoughts related to keeping or acquiring items are not perceived as intrusive or unwanted.7 The word “preoccupation” might be a more appropriate term than “obsession.”

Distressing nature of thoughts
In OCD, intrusive thoughts are experienced as distressing. However, in HD, distress results from the byproduct of the thoughts and behaviors (eg, the judgments of others) rather than from the thoughts or behaviors themselves.

Is there an attempt to get rid of the thoughts?
One of the hallmarks of OCD is the frequent need to perform rituals to vanquish unwanted thoughts or behaviors. In HD, the thoughts and behaviors are pleasurable. Distress, grief, or anger can occur when individuals with HD face the prospect of potentially discarding an object, rather than by the presence of the objects themselves.

This describes my mother very well,  and I have no doubt that if her last T would have visited her property, she would have been diagnosed with HD. Hoarding was like a religious attachment.  It did indeed provide pleasure,  juxtaposed with the anger if she were judged,  like not talking to her neighbor for months after her neighbor offered space in her large trash bin after their construction project.  My mom told her,  "you never tell a hoarder to get rid of their stuff!"

Curiously, my mother kept my home extremely neat when she lived with us,  attributing it to her self-diagnosed OCD.

Based upon the article above,  I can see how her accumulation  (and blindness to the filth and hazardous living conditions) soothed her,  as well as hyper-cleaning my home relieved possible OCD anxiety. 

Anyone else have similar experiences with parents, and how did you deal with it?

Hey Turkish! 

These are interesting thoughts and they certainly make sense. The differences between the two cause me to pause and think. There were times that my uBPDm would be OCD, then she also self soothed by hoarding as she shopped and shopped and spent her money.


Isn't it really strange how they can be one person with so many opposite behaviors at the same time? I think it's for crazy making. My mom was always happy to help clean when she came to visit me, and she was great at organizing. Seemed as if her need to be helpful won out when she was away. Or maybe it was her need to control something in an environment which was not her own and thus provided self-soothing for her?

 
Wools

Interesting post Turk. I understand that collecting things is often a sign of insecurity. True of my Dad. When does collecting become Hoarding ?

Maybe your Mums hoarding related to her setting. Maybe she felt insecure in her old home (triggers), but found a different way of dealing with it in your home. Maybe.