|
Title: No Contact Vs No Reply Post by: WarOfRoses on October 27, 2017, 02:32:17 PM Hi All
I have been considering how NO CONTACT is very different to NO REPLY. No contact is neutral. Neither party has made a move so the emotions and urges we deal with to prevent contact are more controllable. When he/she contacts YOU however, this is positively charged and can bring up all kinds of emotions, feeling and questions. I have a question for discussion: Is no reply MORE powerful than no contact? I'm sure no contact can cause our ex to miss us or wonder if we are still attached to them but if when they contact us we dont reply would that cause them to "up the anti"? do they then become more obsessed with the chase? would it make them want us more?. Do they ultimately start to miss us even MORE? Title: Re: No Contact Vs No Reply Post by: once removed on October 27, 2017, 02:42:30 PM this should help: https://bpdfamily.com/content/no-contact-right-way-wrong-way
Title: Re: No Contact Vs No Reply Post by: Harley Quinn on October 28, 2017, 05:09:26 PM No reply was more powerful for me. It was me putting a boundary on myself and upholding my own core value of self protection from harm. So not replying was my conscious decision to stay safe. I believe it helped me to detach and work through the healing process more effectively than if he had just left me alone. Thing is, NC is not the answer in a forever sense. Eventually it is down to us to consider what our values are and to define and maintain our boundaries based upon these. Failing to do that part only leaves us susceptible to further repeats, either with the same person or perhaps in another dysfunctional r/s. We can't use NC as a crutch. It serves a purpose in the short term. We must actively do the work on ourselves as well.
Love and light x Title: Re: No Contact Vs No Reply Post by: itgetsbetter94 on October 29, 2017, 05:39:51 AM No reply was more powerful for me. It was me putting a boundary on myself and upholding my own core value of self protection from harm. So not replying was my conscious decision to stay safe. I believe it helped me to detach and work through the healing process more effectively than if he had just left me alone. I can relate to this. It was my decision not to engage in madness any further and protect myself the best I can. After everything my poor ego went through, having an upper hand and the last word, sort of put my ego at ease, even though wasn't not much of a comfort. It was my mind's victory over my feelings (which weren't good nor healthy for me). I am very impulsive person, who operates mainly on feelings and from the heart, so this decision was demonstration and victory of my will power, I had to work against my impulses, but today I'm glad I had the strength. |