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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup => Topic started by: lucky013 on November 14, 2017, 09:21:34 AM



Title: Flaking, agreeing to something and not turning up/lies
Post by: lucky013 on November 14, 2017, 09:21:34 AM
I want to hear people experiences in this.

I have had it happen plenty of times to myself


Title: Re: Flaking, agreeing to something and not turning up/lies
Post by: isilme on November 14, 2017, 10:34:30 AM
There are too many to recount.  I think since H is an emotional creature, his feelings day to day, and even hour to hour, make his decisions for him.  Something he wanted to do yesterday he will deny and claim he never wanted to do, because feelings = facts, and the feelings of NOW are the feelings he's always had according to him... .even when those feelings change.

PLanning is a bit tough, as I need confirmation for things like hotels or cabins and whatnot often months out - I was terrified as we planned our destination wedding in the Caribbean - can't have him back out last minute and lose $$$ simply because he "felt" different.  To give him credit though, he was great on that trip - the best he's ever been, actually.  But I was terrified until we actually made it to our hotel that he was going to have a fit and refuse at some point to go any further.  Thank God he did not.

Going to friends' houses, his parents', all end up with a passive aggressive type of resistance, where I rush to get everything ready to go, only to wait on him to drag himself along or cancel last minute.  I WILL add that in the last year his health has played a big role in his not wanting to leave home, so I have started simply making us the hub for people to visit instead of the other way around - that seems to work better. 


Title: Re: Flaking, agreeing to something and not turning up/lies
Post by: foggydew on November 14, 2017, 10:40:32 AM
THAT is so familiar. Bad enough when it only concerned me, but it caused me problems when other people were involved. It is probably the reason for most of his failed relationships. Sometimes it was health, sometimes not.