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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: unicorn2014 on November 19, 2017, 08:30:50 PM



Title: I took my first and only anger management class after my divorce,
Post by: unicorn2014 on November 19, 2017, 08:30:50 PM
I took my first and only anger management class after my divorce, which was not the relationship that brought me here. That class was voluntary as I was not ok with the level of anger I felt towards my ex husband. Ironically enough he even brought me to the class. At any rate, in that class there were women who had physically hit their male partners, and that was a shock to me.

Fast forward to the present day, I know anger is a sin. I think a more realistic approach would be to be how to deal with your anger. We're going to get angry, we're human, its what we do with what that matters.

I don't know, its a tricky one. I can hear the person with BPD in my head saying that anger has a place, sometimes its appropriate, and I certainly don't want his voice running around in my head. OTOH there's all my years of DBT that taught me anger is ok and it serves a purpose and it actually makes it worse when we demonize it.

I think I'm ok with my anger. I maintain that anger is important, its like our inner smoke alarm, or touch sensors, it lets us know when there's a fire or when we've touched something dangerous.