BPDFamily.com

Oh the Holidays.

I used to love the holidays. Some moments I still do. Unfortunately, those sweet memories harken back to a very tomaltulois time. When walking on eggshells was a daily fact of life. The boys were toddlers, if that. I was a young father with all the new responsibilities of home ownership and fatherhood. My wife, a new mother overwhelmed and 99.9% postpartum depressed. Horrible winter weather and more horrifying economic conditions both personally and globally. But there was a naivety. A sense of hope. That this too shall pass. That once we get through our struggles of new parents and new homeowners and newly wed it will be clear sailing. Fast forward a decade and we know how the story turns out if I'm posting on bpdfamily. I miss many things about my old life. There are also many things I don't. But for sure Holiday times like Thanksgiving and Christmas those days hurt the worst. And believe me I have plenty of war stories taking place on those days too. But the hope and the good feelings that I felt during those times, I miss that the most.

Here is to all of us who are on the other side. That there are brighter days and special times ahead and that we regain that holiday magic that made us feel so thankful and happy.

Yes, I'm sad and happy today. A real mixture.

Friends invited us for Thanksgiving in September (really). There will be over 25 people.

My pwBPD always refused those invitations, and after awhile I stopped asking. We always stayed home.

My youngest actually wrote a paper for a class in high school about her Thanksgiving plans. When they were read in class, she realized that most people did it very differently than we did. She asked me why, and I tried to explain.

Not that there's anything wrong with staying home, but we're looking forward to seeing friends later today. It's the first time for my two young adults. My younger one says that they probably will invite us for Christmas too.

So new memories to be made!

Happy Thanksgiving, Friends!

I hear ya. Today, I’m really enjoying the time off with family and friends, cooking, eating, hot tubbing  :) but your post reminded me of those dark times. Not in a bad way, it made me realize how far I’ve come... .
And you will get there too.

I’ve thought about my ex a few times today but mostly it’s wondering if she’s acting berserk with my replacement. We never celebrated one holiday together or took one trip without her losing it and dumping me.

Today, today I’m sitting here with my girlfriend and friends, people my ex knew, just enjoying each others company. No bs, no drama.  It’s really nice... .

But it took me a few years to get to this place. Someday I hope to stop ruminating. I don’t as often as I used to... .something I’m really thankful for!