BPDFamily.com

Me and my ex-broke up nearly a month ago, And I think she has quiet BPD. She complained that I yelled and called her names etc, early on, but she cheated on me, and walked into her room with her male roommate more or less naked, from the waist down. We broke up because I felt like I was a burden to her. A week later, she's not only met someone but is madly in love with him. I was cleaning out my drawers in my room, and I discovered a "shrine" she made for me, of things she left, when she last saw me, We live in different countries, including two letters she wrote to me, I'm having a hard time dealing with this. I can't believe she's done this to me. Why am I feeling this?

Sorry to hear this, I just experienced a similar situation recently. I didn’t walk in on her but I know she cheated and it hurt. Let anger keep your heart protected and do everything you can to get your mind off of her. Good luck, this forum is a life saver.

I'm sorry you're going thru this.  Mine didn't cheat, but after all of the time (20+ years) and emotional hell she's put me thru, I almost wish she had way back when.  Maybe that would have been enough for me to move on well before now.  I know my words won't carry much weight, but please consider yourself fortunate if you can get out while you can.  Otherwise, you'll wake up tomorrow and years of pain will have flown by that you'll regret spending with her.  It won't be easy, but do what you can to find the strength to move on.

I found out my ex cheated on me, and it has been the hardest journey I have ever been through. Breaking up is always difficult, but with cheating it really made me question the whole relationship, I also found it really knocked my confidence and for a long time I have had very low self esteem. I think it really rocks your own foundations and I often found my brain was in turmoil with grief, anger and confusion. I often felt overwhelmed by all the different emotions.

Everyone has different journeys, but I can tell you that for me it has become easier with time. I read a lot on this board, about the Karpman triangle, and about radical acceptance. I am not quite there yet, I still find things that trigger some of the feelings I originally had, but they have definitely toned down in their force. Keep posting, talk to friends if you can, and although I found this quite hard, let yourself accept the feelings you are having right now, you have gone through a really difficult experience, and it will be hurting.

Tell us more of the story if you want to on here.

EL

Hi LC1995, 

*welcome*

I’d like to join the others and welcome you to bpdfamily. I’m sorry that you’re going through this. En1gma mentioned anger, anger can help with detaching from unhealthy r/s, not everyone is going to treat you this way.

Have a r/s post mortem here and talk to people that can relate with you. It’s impossible to convey your experience with someone that hasn’t gone through something similar. I’m looking forward to reading your posts. Hang in there.