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Title: So confused and stuck Post by: itmaybetime on November 29, 2017, 09:18:47 AM So, my BPD husband is being treated now for the last couple of months. It is two steps forward, one step back. He tells me it will take time. I totally understand that, and that it will not be a straight line to improvement. However, He expects me to act like everything is normal.
The thing that prompted his seeking treatment was me saying I was done. He had texted my brother's wife last May and made it clear he'd be open to something between them. My sister in law (who I've known for 30+ years and introduced her to my brother) did not tell me he was "looking." So, instead of warning me or telling me, she told many other people, including the wife of my first husband. WHY would she do that? It wasn't until two months later, when I asked her why she was avoiding me that it came out. By then, many people knew. But not me. It is bad enough that I am dealing with my H's terrible and dysfunctional behavior, but now I don't know who does or doesn't know about his ridiculously inappropriate behavior, and I feel so terribly betrayed by my SIL. I can't speak to her, I won't even call her. As for my H, I can hardly look at him and hardly tolerate his presence, despite his being in treatment after having owned up to it. I feel like I can't split up, we have children in college who will have to take out mega-loans if we split up and maintain two households. And if all that isn't bad enough, I lost my son (from my first marriage) four years ago and am deeply grieving. He was 21. My work is going great, though, so I have that going for me. I am so unhappy it is taking it's toll on me. Title: Re: So confused and stuck Post by: Tattered Heart on November 29, 2017, 09:25:02 AM HI itmaybetime,
Welcome *welcome*, I"m so sorry that you are feeling betrayed by so many people. It sounds like you have been through quite a bit. What are you doing for your own self care? Have you considered getting T to help you work through some of the hurt of loss, betrayal, and bitterness? Title: Re: So confused and stuck Post by: pearlsw on November 30, 2017, 12:30:24 AM Hi itmaybetime,
This all sounds so difficult - sorry you are carrying so much on your shoulders! Sorry to hear about the loss of your son. I know how heavy grief can be and that such a loss can leave a deep hole inside. What kinds of things are you doing to feel any happiness? Do you have friends or other outlets for support to help give you a break from the tough things at home? wishing you peace, pearlsw. |