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My ex pwBPD is often psychic. When we were together he would just know things and I put this down to him being incredibly perceptive. We split up six months ago but he still 'knows' stuff even though he isn't around me. Loads of examples but most unsettling is how he gets in touch at 'milestone moments' for me like just when I've been away on my own or had a realisation I'm doing ok without him.

I went on date yesterday and he texts "hope your ok what you up too? Who are you with"

To be honest it scares me. Even though he dumped me and he's with someone else feels like he will always view me as 'his' and will always be keeping tabs on me. Is there a way to cut this psychic link - I realise this sounds a little crazy lol

A lot of people say that kind of thing. I don't know how to explain it but Idk.

I will attempt to explain it in a way that makes sense to me. So your sacral chakra or sexual chakra is located right above the genitals below the abdomen. When you have sexual intercourse your chakras and energies align completely "the two become one". This in turn forms a "soul tie" the union of two spirits. The sacral chakra is directly linked with creation due to the manor of it supply the energy to produce the two components necessary to reproduce life. Which in turn allows it to have a very close bond with the throat chakra which is linked to the third eye and also the minds creativity. A normal person is not able to hone in on this signal of energies unless they are very spiritually enlightened. A BPD born of almost a separate liniege due to their frequencies adapting to reality in a much differently attuned way can also hone in on this connection regardless of their spiritual awareness. This is due to the fact that i beleive BPDs are literally "spiritual vampires". They use the connection we from from our soul tie as a conduit from which they harness energy from our bodies suppliers the chackra. So instead of biting you like a vampire in lore they have sex with you to take hold. Now not only does this connection for their supply harness our energies but also gives them access to our mind due to the relation of the chackras that i stated earlier. These 7 points in your body form the interconnectedness of your whole being flesh and spirit. With this ability to channel through your energy by harnessing it the BPD also has access to your mind. Which would in turn give them the ability to have such a psychic link with us. As proof ive literally felt my BPD harness my energy in this process right where my sacral chakra lies and it comes in the form of a breif but intense pain. Otherwise the sensation i feel can vary from her dysregulation to sadness. Im looking into ways to break this link with her. I think its much stronger for me then most because i was pure and my energy and soul had been unbonded due being a virgin before i met her. I feel this also plays into why she is so drawn to me due to the fact that the "supply" i give off is untainted by anyone but her so it is more sustaining to her life force. 

Sounds like he is stalking you.

If it's a psychic link... .then I would pray for protection, ask the Lord to cover you with His protection.

Because psychic is not from God.

It might be profitable to have him around when you buy Lottery tickets?  Sorry, couldn't help myself... .

Lots of disparate viewpoints on this thread; I'll speak to standard borderline.  Think attachments.  A borderline's goal is to attach, merge, with another person to complete themselves, since they don't have a fully formed self of their own.  Once they do, the conditions of the disorder show up: too close they feel engulfed, too far away they feel abandoned, which sets up the push/pull behavior and the need to be in control.  And at some point both partners trigger each other, emotions spiral, and it ends, probably deep into the devaluation stage.  But that doesn't mean the attachment ended for the borderline; fear of abandonment is at the core of the disorder, think of the panic of a 3 year old who can't find his mother.  And even though a borderline has left and gotten another attachment doesn't mean he's lost or wants to lose the one with you; if you're constantly in fear of abandonment lots of attachments lower the odds of being completely abandoned.  And expect it to be tested; text messages are sent to try and elicit a response, and even if you're pissed off, an attachment is still in place.

So the way to cut the psychic link is cut it, since he won't.  Don't engage, if you do, act bored, uninterested, and eventually he will go away, there will be other shiny objects to get his attention.  Focus on not giving him any reason to think an emotional attachment is still in place, and eventually he'll let the attachment go, even though it may be alive in his head, it has to be, he doesn't exist otherwise.  Take care of you!

a lot of BPD people are akin with psychic in the old days most witches were probably BPD ( see BPD and cats ) the truth is they are incredible in tune with uances of facial audible and even patters of contact etc if you break a patter or do something unusual they will pick up on it how they interpert it is another thing that is another story

Yes, those behaviors could be attributed to psychic ability.  They could also be attributed to a need to heighten senses to try and perceive what a partner is thinking, since borderlines are incapable of connecting emotionally, being emotionally arrested.  I used to catch my ex staring intensely at my face, trying look for clues as to what I was thinking, trying to find hints that I had been unfaithful to her or was about to abandon her.  None of that was true for me, and all of it could have been cleared up with a heart-to-heart connection, but that never happened for us, the main reason the relationship didn't work out; the abuse I endured while trying to get to that connection was secondary.

When Jesus displayed psychic abilities, and asked us to follow his example , did he get those from the devil ?

This makes a lot of a sense. I began to nottice my ex had a very different way of organizing things it was extremely visual and audible oriented. She was extremely organiZed in a very disorganized way. I also remember her getting like crumbs from random people and she would attribute so much meaning even if the person was to my perception superficial and glib. She didn't seem to pick up on sociopathic and npd hallow charm like I do. My "spidy sense" goes off around them.

How it sort of makes sense to me is the connection to this other person is the idea of that person as they exist  in our self and the patterns we associate with this connection to the idea of them.

Yes, block him on everything, don't read texts or emails. Don't share your life with mutual friends. He's not psychic, he's crazy!

My ex sometimes claims she has psychic abilities. It's completely in her head though. It's easy to infer psychic ability when a feeling about something turns out to be true, or a dream you've had ends up happening, when you ignore all the other times it didn't happen. We put too much emphasis on the positive results, and tend to ignore the negative ones. A lot of these "milestone moments" happen to us all the time. Sometimes without us really thinking about it at the time. His reaching out could simply seem like he's doing it on purpose, when really it's just coincidence. As human beings we have a superb ability to draw connections between completely unrelated events.

That and/or he's secretly keeping track of you. Have you posted any events to social media or shared things with people you both know?

Thanks everyone v interesting. I'm very careful to keep my life private but this is making me feel like I'm still connected to him. To some extent I am allowing him to control my behaviour e.g. Not telling my friends what I'm doing in case he hears about it (don't want to guess at his reaction to me dating) and my fb page is edited so nothing can get back to him (even though he is blocked).  Yesterday's texts freaked me out because he didn't want anything else other than to keep tabs on me

You end the psychic connection by reclaiming yourself ; stop thinking about him, stop giving him energy ... .its a roadway and a door into you.

My ex could literally see the images in my mind ; super intuitive.

Psychic is also godly, thanks for not being judgmental.

Psychic is just a human ability. Like thinking. Or writing. Its just a different kind of talent.

Exactly. Just like practicing alchemy is not "witchcraft".

The fire and brimstone attitude needs to be cast aside along with the dark ages and its witch hunts. 

My ex called this her "sixth sense" and said that her therapist said that lots of pwBPD had it. For me, it seemed that she could make pretty accurate predictions about the future-- unfortunately it also seemed that these were self-fulfilling bad prophecies (that her last ex would leave her and go back to her former partner, that she & I would break up, etc.) that didn't have to end this way.

My BPDs also has an uncanny ability to predict events that usually happen within 24 hours. He is ultra-sensitive to noise, light, changes in the weather, etc and is hyper-vigilant as well.

I too seem to have this ability to a lesser degree, and I have wondered if it might be hereditary.

In any case, it is a gift or a curse, however you wish to interpret it.

I've had very similar experiences. It's eerie. It seems like as soon as I'm feeling strong and like I don't need her, she knows to contact me. Or she contacts me after I have a disturbing dream about her.

And of course, she was 'allowed' to move on and throw it in my face. But she still things I somehow belong to her.

Its my strong suggestion to read the book 'The Highly Sensitive Person.'

Most psychic abilities, in my opinion, are subconscious correlations that draw conclusions from subtle cues within an environment, actions, and things along those lines.

Predicting the future is not so hard ; a person who has treated others poorly and been left will say that they will get left and when they treat somebody poorly, yup ... .self-fulfilling prophecy. Doesn't mean they are prophetic.

My ability to sense moods and anticipate patterns could be called psychic or empathic ; yet its my firm understanding that these are abilities latent within every human being, within our dna, and within our nervous system.

I am a christian, volunteer at a church ... .and the pastor and congregation is a-ok with me and my oddities because they see my service, stability, sincerity, and authenticity.

I'm even teaching yoga to them ... .

I feel bad for anybody who takes such a rigid stance that anything could be satanic.

God made satan ... .and I'm certain that what we believe as god and satan are completely misguided anyways.

Where isn't god? where isn't creation?

In having sympathy for the devil comes the ability to have compassion for our ex-BPDs, whose behavior is very devilish indeed.

Short and strait:

Evil- Everything that splits, destroys, make tension, makes conflict, separates.

Good -  Brings toghether, makes peace, makes whole, unifies,  creates.


The fruits are peace love and happiness, because you do not have inner splitting , tension, conflict, ... .so you become a whole(wholy) person.

That is my short story about what religions try to achieve.

That which has harmed me, split me an torn me apart has been a process for me to grow and understand human nature, love, compassion and forgiveness.

Can it truly be evil if the outcome is beneficial and leads to integration and wholeness?

(And, I totally get your perspective and agree on principal.)

I recently did a thread on this too as I feel their intuition about when we are making steps towards moving on is uncanny. I'd like to follow this

I ended up on this site because I was in the twilight zone and now its chased me here  

My BPD is psychic too, in fact, the psychic nature seems to be genetic with him, he's had it since pretty young. Think his grandma had it too. From what he says, he thinks it's because he uses more of his brain than most people. If you watch his pupils when he's looking at something, they dart back and forth quickly, instead of focusing more on something. Like he cannot stop thinking. He says its like a flashlight and he'll get different glimpses of things from the past or future. At first it was hard for me to grasp, the way he's able to see things in my past before I met him. Now it seems he's transferred a bit of that to me, I'm now more receptive than I used to be, like I'm feeding off his energy?  Not sure. He thinks we all have the ability but we just don't hone it. The psychic-ness seems to be more of a negative thing than positive though. He feels peoples emotions so well and says most people are unhappy and negative, so in turn he absorbs all that and he becomes negative. Too bad it doesn't work on the lottery  lol  It's comforting to know that there are other psychic BPDs. This 6th sense is an extra gift to him from God, like some people are geniuses, or have special talents, his is of a psychic nature. It is not demonic... .are we in the middle ages? 

If we broke up, I'd be going through the same thing, like he'll always be connected to me because of our past closeness to each other. But if you didn't continue to be friends, I could see it'd be uncomfortable for you. Maybe he's picking up on your positive energy now that you're happier and dating? Disengaging is a good suggestion. Maybe some meditative thinking and associating him with negative things? He'll in turn sense it and because it's negative energy he might not want to feel it which will cut the ties faster. That's all I can think of.

You are feeding his ego way larger than you should. He's not psychic, he's a con man. A master manipulator. If it were the 19th century, he'd be the guy riding into town selling proverbial snake oil to all the residence in town. Do you honestly believe this? What is the calling card of these people? manipulation. What are their underlying fears? Abandonment and Rejection or Invalidation. He may be intuitive, I would be in agreement with that. Again, that isn't some power, it's a manifestation of psychological and emotional abuse. In essence it's part of his pathology. When someone is neglected, abandoned, ignored, shamed, tormented, or any other said form of emotional abuse. They instinctively become tuned into verbal, physical and familiarity queues in their surroundings. Not because they are psychic. It's because they are severely damaged and much like a survivor of war with PTSD who attends a 4th of July fireworks display upon returning, their relationship with the external world is forever altered due to a constant state of perceived threat and damage infliction. When you say he's transferred it to you, that could be nothing more than you who may have been raised in a comparatively safe place vs him, so you were protected from harm and therefore less in tune with the people around you who you generally regarded as non dangerous. Exposure to someone who is a manipulative emotional abuser would in fact transfer the same state of heightened awareness (i.e. anxiety or PTSD) to you as their victim wherein you live in a state of hyper awareness also known as fear. The things he saw in your past is due to their keen awareness of who would make the ideal victim. They instinctively look for lack of boundaries. People who open up about everything right away. People who FEEL SAFE BEFORE THERE IS REASON TO FEEL SAFE = PREY TO A PREDATOR. That's why they are such good listeners in the beginning yet aren't later. They take in everything about you and use it to profile you as their victim. It's why they instinctively understand how to pull you in, the things to say to create a sense of shell shock where you become totally paralyzed in a state of learned helplessness. In fact I think one of the hallmarks of narcissism is listed in the DSM categorial listing as (I'm paraphrasing) belief of magical powers.

I've found the psychic link works both ways.  Again today after I had a talk with a very nice lady from on this forum I begun to kind of start letting go of waif,  making a list of things I wanted to do.  Sure enough I got this light headed feeling and stomach acid and 5 minutes later got the first text in a couple of days from waif.

There has been a lot of odd,  unexplained things that have gone on between me and my waif,  I appear to be able to sense her disregulations, and then there was the time she sent me a lyric to a song I had stuck in my head.

I belive she has some psychic ability while I have known for a while that I'm strongly empathic. It made for an interesting mix when we were together,  I'd sense something was wrong,  look over and she would explain it without me asking haha

I know a lot of people don't go in for this kind of thing but when it happens to you it's unnerving

She turned you into a golem.

Also you both may have heard that song. Checking her social media. Even both experiencing the same weather that day. Or a tv show you both watch or something that can trigger each of you. The mind picks up on patterns. You have been conditioned to anticipate her needs so your mind is picking up on patterns on an unconcious level.

If you really want to dig into it on a deeper level check out the YouTube videos on Carl Jung

Shadow, feminine archetype, anima, synchronicity, projection, and dreams.

If you want to dig deeper than that. Look up the various stories of the golem including The Lord of the rings one.

Then read platos allegory of the cave.

Then read and contemplate the 7 hermetic principles. And review that same list above again.

Perhaps some of others platos concepts on the metaphysical.

:-)

I will not get into a debate about Jesus, who is God, being all knowing, all seeing... .

Suffice it to say, I believe she is being stalked, which is real, and very scary.

I want to add from my above response

If you want to dig deeper than that look up everything you can on the trickster or trickster god, the joker, and the fool.

That and the djinn.

Are all these viewpoints helping you detach Blim?

Yes, I am following my gut. My gut led me to those things.

I'm familiar with those same traits within my x-pwBPD. Being a stranger to herself, mirroring characteristics which are absent from her being--she intuits the patterns of others via mechanisms which are beyond the scope of ordered relational analysis . It is a primordial EKG that monitors the relational activity within the hearts of others. Even without present data, she is capable of intricate-accurate-deductive-suppositions, combining probability, archived relational patterns with specific know quantities.     

So Conundrum, is her ability to intuit innate or learned?

That's the logical follow-up question. And it's the chicken or the egg. Which cannot be easily parsed. Hereditary% + environmental% = ?  I agree that it's a combination, but while generational predisposition is often present--the proximate cause is trauma. And w BPD statistically appearing within the feminine psyche to a much greater degree--the specific traumatic event lies with the sexual abuse of very young girls.

Consequently, that relational predictive radar Imo, is a bit more learned than innate--because the proximate cause is environmental.  Still, the trauma triggers the hereditary disposition and kicks in the innate generational instinct.            

This makes a lot of sense. And I think it has to do with their ability to triangulate, almost forming a kind of tribe of souls within themself.

My understanding is the genesis of the disorder is a failure to successfully detach from a primary caregiver, by weathering the subsequent abandonment depression, a necessary step in ego development and the acquisition of a 'self'.  That can have multiple causes, sexual abuse among them, but also neglect, or simply a mother with her own issues who wouldn't allow the detachment.

I do agree that the ability to intuit, for us all, is a product of both nature and nurture, or the lack of it, and for a borderline it's borne out of necessity, since the ability to 'connect' on a conventional level is absent.

My ex had an extraordinarily developed sense of smell, she could probably rival a drug dog, and she claims she wasn't abused but neglected, and I believe the neglected part, but she's a pathological liar too, plus whatever happened back then may be blocked from consciousness for protection.  The ripple effects of our rearing can be profound.

Fromheeltotoe

I find your comments about detachment interesting.  However, I have a question.

Has anyone else out there found that their BPD child was the one who was unable to detach from a parent?

This is the case with my BPDs. 

Just curious.  Thanx.

Yes, I meant the child, although we're not talking about still living at home in your late 20's, that kind of detachment, we're talking much more basic: before we're born and slightly thereafter, we can't distinguish between ourselves and our mother; from a baby's perspective they are one person, which isn't a stretch really, since we used to be inside our mother.  At some point the baby is lying in his crib or whatever, mom leaves the room, and the baby isn't positive she's coming back, not only that, he's starting to get the idea that there is a 'me' and a 'her', two separate entities.  That's a traumatic realization, and results in what's termed abandonment depression.  Most of us weather that depression just fine, it's a necessary part of ego development and the development of a 'self'.  But borderlines never go through that, the thought of abandonment and the subsequent depression are just too much to handle, or mom won't let it happen by never letting the baby out of her sight and touch.  So the kid grows up continually trying to get back to that fusing of two people into one, an attachment, and being terrified of abandonment, a replaying of the initial bond with their primary caregiver, mother probably, that created the disorder to begin with.  Sound familiar?  Put in that context, the motivation behind my ex's actions is clear.

Anyone that experiences some "psychic" or "mystical." Experiences along their inward journey it is ok. Embrace it is not wrong or unhealthy. What is "normal" anyway?

There have always been those who experience the mystical from the apostle paul to Carl Jung. We are not homogenous automotons and everyone is capable of it. JR tolkien has a book about it called The Smith of Wooten Major, and reading that book may provide acceptance of ones experience and the confidence to explore it.

Explains it all. Great example is when my ex used to get angry at her mother, because she didn't show up on time for a meetup. Hello, abandonment fear!

Although all of the above is subconscious, and happens before the ability to reason and understand is developed.  If you want more, The Search for the Real Self my Masterson does a good job of explaining the genesis of BPD and NPD, along with normal development of the self.  Fascinating.

Heeltotoe

OK.  Gotcha.  From your post, I thought you were speaking primarily about the mother who is unable to let go of her child and fosters dependence for that reason.  

Sadly, some children with BPD are unable to grow up and move on. They are often the 20, 30, or 40 year olds still living at home because they cannot function well or support themselves.  

I just wanted to address the fact that many parents are supporting adult BPD children for that reason, and

not because they have voluntarily chosen to do so.  

Around here they would be called low functioning borderlines; my ex has a brother in that exact situation.  And then there are healthy folks still living at home late into adulthood, with the affectionate label of slacker.

Although again the detachment thing is at the level of core identity, or lack thereof, and deeply psychological, not just an overdependence on parents.

Anxiety - Thank you for your opinion on my post. However, I have known this man for 12 years, 8 years before he even developed BPD type symptoms. He is a good man who grew up with a normal childhood without any abuse. He would rather hurt himself before he hurts anyone else. He's not a narcissistic sociopath which it seems you are describing all BPDs to be. Every person is different with different symptoms and it's wise to refrain from blanket judgement about people you don't even know. My BPDh is going to therapists to get better which is a huge step, especially for a man. Therapy might benefit you as well as it sounds like you've had some negative experiences with a pwBPD.

You're right Lolah, BPD traits exist on a continuum and everyone is different, it sounds like your guy might have been a lighter version, and kudos to him for seeking therapy.  And negative experiences with borderlines are what bring us all together here, so we have that in common anyway, and anxiety's comments:


speak to me and my experience to a tee, and is why I left her by flinging myself to safety like someone who's being electrocuted, flailing with everything I had.  And I did seek therapy and was diagnosed with PTSD, which has since resolved and I now see the experience and the lessons as a gift.  Live, love and learn... .

FYI, BPD 33: Magical Thinking of Borderline Personality Disorder: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T3FOsRFTnz8