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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup => Topic started by: Mrb87 on December 05, 2017, 09:59:25 AM



Title: How do i get him to stop saying weird believes
Post by: Mrb87 on December 05, 2017, 09:59:25 AM
My BPD believes that they are a victim of the world and they're are the only one having a bad day and God a special objective everyday to mess up the world for them. The reason that god does this to him is because he says " I know Gods secret" "God doesn't want me to expose him and turn humanity against him". And just because he isn't afraid of God and he holds his secret, God hurts him by making it rain on days he wants it to be nice, sends the police after him after he's done bad things, kills his loved ones, makes him lose his jobs when he goes to work and downs the entire company and makes no effort to make friends or learn the job and his mistakes, or if he's caught cheating and wants a life with me forever, or if he steal from his family or starts a arguement with them and looses, or if the train is running late. Everything is happening to him and there's nothing he can do about it but become effected by it. Has anyone gone through any weird thinking like this ? And what was ur solution for this? How do u let them know this isn't real? How do u deflect conversations like this?


Title: How do i get him to stop saying weird believes
Post by: Mrb87 on December 07, 2017, 12:45:18 PM
Everytime im on the phone with my BPDbf he says weird out of the box beliefs. Ive told him not to say these thing to me because it makes me feel worried about him and his mental health. Its gets so bad sometimes i turn the phone off or lower the volume and continue fake responding until he stops talking then change it to a better topic
HELP!
any weird beliefs or comments being made by your BPD ?


Title: Re: How do i get him to stop saying weird believes
Post by: Tattered Heart on December 07, 2017, 02:25:40 PM
Hi Mrb87,

Sorry that you are so frustrated with the things your bf says. What kind of weird beliefs does he share with you? How does he respond to your fake responding?



Title: Re: How do i get him to stop saying weird believes
Post by: Mrb87 on December 07, 2017, 04:44:50 PM
When I hear i him start to turn his rants into something strange, I turn the phone low and I give him the response of "mmm hmmm mmmm" so he thinks I'm listening but it usually the same stuff I hear over and over again. i don't give him much to go off of when I respond to him because I want him to realize that this isn't a normal way of thinking and this isn't a good conversation topic to have with others. The things he says that r off are " the government is shutting down the trains system to keep him out of the city's on weekends, he holds gods secret and god is after him making things in his life go wrong to torture him and if he were to tell gods secret he can turn humanity against him, if it rains it's because of God trying to interfere with his plans, his family wants to make my family leader because he's next in line to take over since his cousin passed away ad he doesn't want to do it but they keep forcing it on him (his family treats him like a amateur outcast which makes me feel sorry for him) and his brothers are always out to get him, his dad was right to beat his mom." And that's just half of the thinks he says.


Title: Re: How do i get him to stop saying weird believes
Post by: itgetsbetter94 on December 07, 2017, 07:38:56 PM
Last time I heard someone saying things like above mentioned, it turned out that the person had schizophrenia. 


Title: Re: How do i get him to stop saying weird believes
Post by: Tattered Heart on December 08, 2017, 09:12:09 AM
I would agree with itgetsbetter94. This sounds like more than BPD. It sounds like there could be another mental illness involved. Do other family members of his notice this delusional thinking in him?

Is ignoring him while on the phone getting the message across to him that you don't want to talk about this? Or does he keep talking about these things?


Title: Re: How do i get him to stop saying weird believes
Post by: once removed on December 08, 2017, 12:09:19 PM
do you find ending conversations difficult to do with people in general?


Title: Re: How do i get him to stop saying weird believes
Post by: Mrb87 on December 08, 2017, 12:29:02 PM
He is very quiet around his family. When he does say something they either don't take him serious or say a comment that puts down everything he is saying. I think his family does know he is off but not to the extent of what I know. when i have ended a conversation with him when he does speak of these things i get the backlash of "your closed minded,ur not smart, u have all these degrees and u can see it these things in front of ur face". Giving him a bland response is the only way i get him to calm down after he starts himself up. But i would like it to stop or have him put a stop to himself once he begin talking about it realizing it not reality.


Title: Re: How do i get him to stop saying weird believes
Post by: once removed on December 08, 2017, 12:44:35 PM
there arent magic words/actions that can change his beliefs or get him to stop expressing them.

Giving him a bland response is the only way i get him to calm down after he starts himself up.

thats something you can work with. arguing with him only fuels it as youre seeing. bottom line, hes venting a bunch of out there stuff you dont want to hear. the goal is to keep yourself from being a target. there are lots of ways to do this, you know him and how he will respond best.

1. you can just listen and give bland responses. let him tire himself out and get it out of his system. thats a pain in the butt for you, but if hes not getting the response hes after, he may learn to stop looking for it from you.

2. when he slips into this stuff, especially if its relatively rare, you can have an excuse ready to get off the phone. you left something in the oven, you have to run to the restroom, whatever. politely, quickly, exit the conversation.

3. you can draw a hard line and refuse to discuss these things with him. he will push back and tell you what youve already heard. let him, be firm, and end the discussion whenever he brings these things up.

what do you think?