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Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD => Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD => Topic started by: tristesse on December 08, 2017, 07:19:40 AM



Title: Update
Post by: tristesse on December 08, 2017, 07:19:40 AM
So I have been away for several months now, things with my BPDD have been pretty stable. Obviously there are ups and downs, things are never going to be perfect, and that's O.K. because life isn't perfect.
I have been extra busy since about June 12th, My dad had a stroke, and that was followed by some severe cardiac issues and we were prepping for the worst, every spare moment was spent at his side, just loving him and letting him know I was going to be there. But Our God works miracles every day, and my dad has been steadily improving , He is in assisted living and able to walk with a walker etc. His heart had an ejection fraction of  20 percent and is now at 40 percent with improvements every time he sees the Dr. So my time away has been spent just being with my dad.
Update on my BPDD, She has been in an intensive therapy for about 2.5 years steadily now. her Pdoc. seems to have found the right combination of meds and treatment, because she has remained relatively stable. There are still minor blowups, she still has moments where her world is falling apart and the sky appears to be falling, however she is able to regulate far quicker now, and the situations don't go to such extremes.
I have also learned a lot, I have used the tools I learned from this very message board, I practiced them until I nearly perfected them. My biggest benefit has been learning not to JADE, justify argue defend explain... .I still struggle with that, but it has proven the most useful in my circumstance.
So to sum things up, the raging has nearly gone away completely, the  tearful outbursts are less and less, the arguing has gone to almost nothing, and life is quite tolerable with this girl of mine. my best advice to any new member struggling, read the lessons and tools on this board, put them into practice, and keep trying. My entire story is posted on this board, and things were rough, really rough for me when I first came here. go back and read my story, you will find that you are definitely not going through it alone. and from that we are now at this.


Title: Re: UPDATE
Post by: mggt on December 09, 2017, 08:16:30 AM
Tris,  Great news     


Title: Re: UPDATE
Post by: Kwamina on December 09, 2017, 09:16:35 AM
Hi tristesse and thanks for this update

The situation with your dad was quite scary, I am glad that he is doing better now :)

Great to read about your daughter's journey and the improvements you have seen! That's wonderful news.

I have also learned a lot, I have used the tools I learned from this very message board, I practiced them until I nearly perfected them. My biggest benefit has been learning not to JADE, justify argue defend explain... .I still struggle with that, but it has proven the most useful in my circumstance.

This is very important. Ultimately the only person we can control is ourselves and you have been working on that too |iiii

The Board Parrot


Title: Re: UPDATE
Post by: Huat on December 09, 2017, 10:57:50 AM
Hello Tristesse... .and nice to see your name pop up again.

It is good for all of us to read posts like yours... .rays of sunshine... .not always doom and gloom.

You have pointed out that there is a lot of self-help info on this website and seems you have done your homework.  Of course, doing homework takes time but the results can/might make for better relationships with our troubled children.  Certainly... .nothing to lose by doing it.

Hope you keep updating us on your journey with your daughter.  You will have a lot to offer in the way of support to others who are trying to find their way through all the drama that can be part-and-parcel in their journeys.

You have had a very stressful time of it with your father, Tristesse.  Glad to read that he is recovering.

Huat