BPDFamily.com

3 years in a relashionship. Both married with ___ty relashionships at home. At the begining it look loke we were meant to each other. Now,  one day she can be with me the most loving and caring person in every sense and the next im the worst human on earth. No values. Lyer etc. Insults conduct that reflect heatred towards me. She manipulates everything. Insult my kids. She never recognized what she does to me. It seems to her its not important. But one word to her can turn into the biggest fight.
I love her. Ive done everything in my hands  to try to make her feel what she really means to me.
She alianated me from everything.
What to do

Tough situation, I was in the same one for most of the last 10 years.  It's very tough to be in a relationship with someone who comes home and I sit there and go, "1, that's 2, that's 3, that's 4" in terms of comments or "zingers" as I liked to refer to them, all comments that are made in an effort to get under my skin or incite a reaction but heaven forbid I ever ever ever ever say anything to incite her ever.

I remember one time vividly, we have a dog and had a fenced in yard, there was one corner where the dog could poke around and get loose if he wanted to so if he got in that corner you had to get his attention.  If you left him alone, he'd eventually get out and then he'd bolt and of course I'd have to go retrieve him.

My wife was out in the backyard sitting down and I could see her looking at the dog in the corner.  Didn't say anything to him, she just watched.  Of course the dog got loose.  While walking by the outside of the fence going to get him I looked at my wife knowing I was going to say something to her and knowing for 100% certainty my comment would illicit a horrible reaction.  I asked her why she didn't say something to the dog knowing he can get loose in that corner and her immediate reaction in a nasty tone, ":)on't f#$#in blame this on me."

I never ever called her out on anything unprovoked or instigated her, but this was a time where I consciously decided that I would say something in an effort to receive confirmation that I would get a horrible reaction and she didn't fail to deliver. 

It's very difficult to last in a relationship with someone like my wife for 10 years when they have free reign to point out anything and everything that you did or didn't do and heaven forbid you ever call them out on anything.  I called my wife a hypocrite a zillion times because of this.

Sorry I'm not giving you any advice on what to do because I obviously was never able to figure it out.  Just sharing a story, it's therapeutic for me. 

Hi Cosa,

I'm sorry that you are having a difficult time in your relationship. Are you still together?

What kinds of things cause her to get upset? When she insults you or the children how do you respond?