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Well, my recent exgf is getting out of the psyche ward and heading to rehab. I'm glad she's doing something, going somewhere, but I can't help feeling her abuse of Adderall is a symptom, not the underlying problem. I suppose if she can get to a point where she's not doing so much that she sends herself into psychotic episodes and week-long depressions when she runs out---yay! 

This will be her second time in this rehab facility. I didn't know her the first time she went.

Does rehab ever stick for BPD's? I feel like given her impulsivity and inability to regulate her emotions, trying to get her through 12-steps will be an ineffective band-aid. She's not diagnosed as BPD as far as I know, her last diagnoses was bipolar, but she changes doctors and therapists so frequently, who knows what's in her files. 

I'd love to hear other people's experiences of their loved BPD's in rehab. Do I have any reason for cautious optimism on her behalf?

Hi there Lady Itone

Good for your exgf as you say she's doing something, going somewhere. I understand it's hard for you, no clear understanding if there is a diagnosis, no clear roadmap for either of you, you want her to find the help she deserves.

You may be right, addiction and psychotic disorders are often found together an addictive drug as a way of self-medicating to control the symptoms of the psychotic disorder and more than.  

What does 'rehab' in your part of the world mean?

Does your ex have family?

WDx

Cute name, wendydarling, thanks for replying.

The place she's is specializes in "those suffering from addictions and behavioral health issues (dual diagnosis.)" Actually, that sounds pretty good.

Unfortunately, I got a call from her yesterday, now she's saying she's only staying a couple weeks, and could we spend xmas together? I got upset at her when I heard that. She had told me she was going to stay 90 days, and I was really looking forward to a 3 month break from her nonsense. I strongly urged her to stay at least a month.

She has family but they live far away.

Thanks Lady Itone.    I'm sorry to hear that I'd be upset too. Xmas is a difficult time, it's hard to be alone, sounds like her feelings about Xmas with one week to go, getting in the way of her original intention staying 90 days.

That was a difficult conversation, you had no idea was coming. You urged her to stay a month how did she respond, how was it left?

You ask if rehab sticks, depends if they are ready. For my DD so far yes, 29DD firstly went to an alcohol specialist unit (outpatients) while on a waiting list for DBT. She completed 14 months DBT (outpatients) this summer and is managing well, continuing to work hard at it. She recognised she had to put in the hard work and she has. July 18 will be 3 years since diagnosis. I can tell you she was truly exhausted, burnt out by her disorders and desperate for help - we've provided her the emotional support she's needed to move forward.

Do you have plans for Xmas?

WDx

That's awesome, glad your daughter is doing well and staying strong.

We left it at... .well, we just left it. She tried to tell me there wasn't a 90 program, just 28 days, so I said just do the whole 28 days, and she said "This conversation is making me anxious, so I'm gonna go lay down and just be with it."

I said I'd have to think about xmas. I was caught off guard. She asked when she could talk to me again, I said a few days. 

I don't have special plans for xmas, but a lot of my friends are staying in town, so I don't think I'd have to be alone unless I wanted.

I'm leaning towards telling ex no we can't spend xmas together if she decides to get out early. I don't know. It just sucks because deep down inside I'd love to have a nice xmas with her. We had some really nice moments together last season. I liked giving her nice holidays and birthdays when I could, and she made it so hard, but it felt so rewarding when she was happy.

On the other hand, we had a few awful xmas moments too. I remember she had an anxiety attack while we were out light-looking on a trolley. My friends were all there too, though, so I could just kind of stay by her side but still have fun with them. But I was sad she didn't have a nice time and engage with us and her energy stressed me out.