BPDFamily.com

Last update: Collaborative team met in November and agreed that until xw receives treatment, I should be primary custodial parent of S12 and possible S6. Fine and good, but xw is not on good terms with her L or other team members, and she has to agree.

Current update: Divorce coach/mediator, xw and I met. We have agreed to 50/50, week on week off with mid week dinner. I will request language in parent plan that I am identified as primary custodial parent, as we will now be at 50/50 time.

She additionally disclosed her earnings this year, which, per our temporary agreement, we were to pool incomes and split evenly. Needless to say, I have seen zero income from her. She is averaging $36k per year, but has claimed net loss or $1k net gain on her tax forms. I intend to press this point to gain relief on length of maintenance payments, as I believe she spent some of what she earned on further training/course work. I will talk to my L and ask what imputed income for her age/salary/skills would be in our city and choose to baseline off the higher of the two. She also placed timeline for sale of our house in July this year. She wants to do it after boys are out of school. This is hardship on me, but I can support children absorbing stress of moving more easily when school is out.

Lastly, much as she decided she wanted a dog for the boys, she is now mandating that I take the dog or she will bring it back to the animal shelter (we have had it for 2 years). My current rental property has no pets, and has no fenced yard. I'd be happy to take the dog full time, but need time to find a better home, preferably after the sale of the house. She placed her demands giving me essentially 3.5 weeks to take the dog, or he goes to the shelter. S12 is very attached to the dog. I am reaching out to folks that maybe could foster him until I can possibly purchase my own home.

Any thoughts about the custody agreement, the monetary arrangement or the dog? I am happy to be improving to 50/50 - it has been 9 months of struggle. My sense is that my xw is gradually tiring of the responsibility of caring for the kids and household on her own. She is very into her success and demand as a life coach. My hunch is the boys will be mostly with me in another year.

I have had friends reach out to me on Facebook re: dog fostering. I have taken in dogs short term myself particularly if the family can help come take care of it. I am sure if you put it out there someone will help you out until you can find a home suitable to the family including your dog. Also reach out to friends and family and see if they know of anyplace you can rent that would accept a dog.