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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: TonettaTheGreat on December 18, 2017, 09:44:13 AM



Title: Modelling herself after new boyfriend's ex?
Post by: TonettaTheGreat on December 18, 2017, 09:44:13 AM
So, He told me, his ex had blonde hair, nearly white blonde hair, very pretty girl too, he showed me pictures of her.

He then shows me a pic of my ex... .She has a blonde wig on, same hair colour as his ex.

What the ___ is going on? That is beyond creepy, isn't it? I know his ex is sniffing around, is she trying to "keep him" by... .being his ex? ___ me.



Title: Re: Modelling herself after new boyfriend's ex?
Post by: SummerStorm on December 18, 2017, 04:23:41 PM
Tonetta,

I know that you're hurting.  I completely understand what it's like.

However, you need to start letting go and stop obsessing over everything your ex says and does. 

There could be a million reasons why she's dressing like Harley Quinn, but not a single one of those reasons has anything to do with you.

If you want a more clinical answer, here it is.  pwBPD often struggle with identity issues.  My BPD friend changes with every guy she dates.  Even more, she acts like a completely different person around me than she does with some of her other friends.  They have no core sense of self, so they mirror the behaviors and interests of those around them. 

And honestly, it could just be as simple as the fact that she likes Harley Quinn.  If I were allowed to, I would dress like a Hogwarts student every single day of the week.  And actually, I've done it a few times when we've had "theme days" at work.  I even posted on my social media a picture of me wearing my whole outfit and holding a wand.  It doesn't mean that I think I'm a wizard (or a witch, to be specific) or that I'm having a huge identity crisis.  It means that I like Harry Potter.