BPDFamily.com

So the last 3 years with the break up has been really hard on me.  It's changed my attitude about love, and life.  I tend to snap at my family a little more, but that was only in the beginning. 

I feel like I have come a long way from not being so sad and depressed about her, but that one negative experience with my family has them thinking my attitude is SO horrible ALL the time.  They fight with me constantly about how I come across, and it's so bad I've alienated half of them for them 'causing more drama in my life over nonsense.  (Like asking my brother to flip off a light switch.)

I don't now how to get them to understand what happened to me.  It doesn't seem like they ever will.  My mom is the best one, but she still struggles to understand sometimes. 

I already suffer with social anxiety so I have a hard time sharing my feelings with people.  Advice would be helpful, thank you. 

I wish I had better advice for you. I distanced myself from my family. I just saw to many toxic behaviours and patterns among us. My mom understands as she was married to my seriously cluster B father for almost 40 years. But the siblings are just hopeless. I have decided that they will never understand or respect boundaries or be any kind of positive influence in my life so I let them go. I just smile and try to rebuild on my own. Its sad but unless you experience it there is no way to understand it.

Some will never get it.

I find that those who get it fall into two categories:

1. They've had family members with personality disorders.

2. They've been in the medical field in situations where they dealt with people with personality disorders.

I'm fortunate that I have quite a few who understand. Some say they don't understand but are caring, and I go with that.

For the rest, I don't try to explain. They'll ask funny questions that show that they think we just had a little spat and separated. Some seem to think that we are still somehow communicating well. I accept that. I didn't understand this either until I lived it.

You really believed in that woman and kept a cool head, when most of us would'nt, but she kept hurting you. Even a saint would crack. To create drama with you over a light switch? You have been through hell. It takes time to heal and your family does'nt understand. Can you move?