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Title: Feeling confused Post by: Sara1 on December 26, 2017, 09:06:30 PM Been married to a BPD and feels like all we do recently is argue. He's kind one minute then rude another. He's so loving and good, then makes mean remark- I confront him and ask him to apologize. He will. But it never ends cycle continues. Recently he's blaming me for getting triggered and upset- it's just soo draining... I feel like I need to get a divorce but not sure if that is the answer either- want to work things out but it's so hard. Learning to stop enabling him which has been big issue... I know I'm getting stronger and wiser but less patient with his rudeness and drama... perhaps that's good thing! Praying God helps me figure this out and/or get out of this marriage if needed... .so hard to know what's right move
Title: Re: Feeling confused Post by: DaddyBear77 on December 28, 2017, 09:56:39 PM Hello Sara1, welcome to the family. I'm glad you found us.
I can really relate to the ambiguity you feel - one minute you fee like divorce is the best option, but the next you really want to work things out. You can go from the best thing that ever happened to him to the absolute worst thing, all in about 30 seconds. You mentioned in your post that you've learned to "stop enabling him" - what does that mean? What were you enabling, and how did you stop? I think it's great you are starting to take a look at your role. The only thing we really can do here is work on ourselves, and our actions and reactions in the face of BPD. |